Friday links

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26 Thoughts on Friday links
    cw
    22 Oct 2021
    7:35am

    Last nights EIF gathering was awesome––many, many thanks Kim and Jenn for hosting! As a sidenote: my latest ex was the first person Katie Couric dated after her husband died. I’m so curious to know if he’s mentioned in her book.

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    Eloise
    22 Oct 2021
    9:35am

    Enjoyed the Broccoli family article and I’ve never been a Katie Couric fan but her book has gotten so much buzz that I’m going to give it a try.

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    Em
    22 Oct 2021
    10:44am

    My grey hair growing out was a lot less complicated than that article describes. My stylist colored my hair with a temporary brown, close to my natural shade of brown and then gradually did that less and less as the grey parts got longer. I now have a pretty rock ‘n roll salt and pepper shag. Very happy with it. I was worried I’d look old. I don’t know about that but I still get plenty of action. It hasn’t held me back on that front. 🙂

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    MaryAlice
    22 Oct 2021
    11:49am

    I am pleased to say that my daughter was part of the Netflix walkout this week. She made me proud when she landed this big job, and prouder that she’s courageous enough to stand up for her coworkers.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      23 Oct 2021
      3:11pm

      That’s a daughter with a strong center! Good job, mama MA!

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      kimbersam
      23 Oct 2021
      11:08am

      Mary Alice, Congratulations to you too for raising a daughter who stands up for others!

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    Gleemonex
    22 Oct 2021
    12:06pm

    I’ve been coloring to cover grays since I was 29; over the pandemic, at the age of 46-47, I let it grow out because A) not sitting in a salon chair for 2+ hours pre-vaccine, and B) not going anywhere else either, so F that, who’s gonna see it. Late this summer, vaxxed and (sorta) back to life, I nearly made the call in favor of the grays — there were already six inches of roots, it looked pretty good to me — but then I caved, lol. Mostly because my H — who is 48 — has no gray hair at all yet, and I didn’t want to look older than him! 😜 I still might let it go, though; once I’d colored again after all that time, it looked kinda fake to me, and I’m having Complicated Thoughts™️ about feminism and aging and authenticity and all that stuff.

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      Liz
      22 Oct 2021
      3:24pm

      I’m your age and while I do not have very sophisticated thoughts about feminism regarding this subject, the thing that prevents me from even considering going gray is the idea that in order to prevent myself from looking completely washed out, I’d then have to wear make up, and I despise make up. I dye my own hair, so it’s not a huge expense or time suck.

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        Gleemonex
        22 Oct 2021
        7:47pm

        I don’t wear makeup* either, so I hadn’t considered that angle — huh.

        *(not a conscious choice , and tbh I’d probably look better or at least more well-rested if I did — I just got too lazy to bother within about a week of starting college, and never started again, except for special occasions, during which it feels like as much of a costume as my fancy outfit! lol)

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    liz
    22 Oct 2021
    12:14pm

    The perfect grey ala Emmylou Harris is beautiful.

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    T
    22 Oct 2021
    12:16pm

    Please start a “going gray” support group. I’m considering it myself having been prematurely gray at 27. Now that’s it’s 20 years later, I’m feeling like my colored hair is looking more like a wig than natural.

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    Dawn
    22 Oct 2021
    1:01pm

    Starting at age 12, I wore my hair long and straight, trying to look like my best friend (Remember “Long and Silky” shampoo?  It was our hair obsession in the 1970’s.  Thank Cher, Crystal Gale and Marcia Brady.).  I’m a little embarrassed that I kept that basic style (I switched to a side part) until age 50, when 1) I was wearing it pulled back in a thinner and thinner ponytail 100% of the time; and 2) I was quite sick of coloring it (dark hair just looks weird when colored, in my opinion).  So, at age 50, I had my hair diva/therapist cut it into an edgy pixie and have cut it every 4-6 weeks since then.  It’s now a pewter color that looks lighter toward the end of the haircut cycle.  When I get the Q-tip look, it’s time to get it cut again.  And gel the living hell out of it before I get to the salon.  My haircuts are not cheap, but overall it’s cheaper to cut it once a month than trim-and-color-it every couple of months.  I’m in the chair for 30 minutes instead of 2 hours.  And haircolor always smelled toxic to me, so I feel like I’m in a healthier practice.  Does it make me look old?  I don’t know.  I think I look 62, which is what I am.  I think if I colored it and wore it long, I’d look 62.  I was working when I switched to the pixie and it never affected my job opportunities.  In fact, a grey pixie makes me more memorable to others, for what that’s worth.  Lipstick and jewelry prevent me from looking like a old man.  It was astonishing to me how many people asked me what my husband thought when I cut it all off.  I’ll have to ask him sometime.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      23 Oct 2021
      3:15pm

      So many things to love about this: Amen to your last line! Do what makes YOU happy with your hair. And yes to looking our age. What’s so wrong with that?

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      Sara
      22 Oct 2021
      3:34pm

      All of the above. I’ve changed jobs (and younger than me hiring managers) five times with gray hair. As my mother says, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what people think of you if you knew how little they did.”

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    MaryAlice
    22 Oct 2021
    3:48pm

    I admire those who go gray and I think it looks amazing and chic – IF you have the right coloring. I’m a blonde with warm skin undertones and I tried on a gray wig and I looked like a corpse. Not a look I’m going for, so I’ll continue to color. But cheers to those of you who do!

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    Viajera
    22 Oct 2021
    2:30pm

    On an unrelated note, I watched “Destination Wedding” on netflix and I enjoyed it. It’s a people movie. No shootings.

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    cw
    22 Oct 2021
    3:08pm

    Just listened to EIF with Kimberly Harrington. One of your very best, Kim and Jenn! Ms. Harrington is so smart and so honest. Woowzer. (sidenote about couples therapists…when my last break-up occurred my then boyfriend asked me to make an appt for us at our couples therapist––we hadn’t seen her in several years because “everything was fine” and then he broke up with me about half-way through the appt. I had made at his urging––WHICH I PAID FOR––later the therapist told me he had been planning that break-up for a long time––lordy)

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      Viajera
      22 Oct 2021
      7:59pm

      No idea what any of it is about, but if it were a movie, i’d probably watch. Just be careful and do not quote anyone directly (wah wah wah). I rather think, if someone can tell it is them, then you didn’t fictionalize it enough. But, I am in the bleachers…

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      Mamavalveeta03
      23 Oct 2021
      3:16pm

      HIS loss, CW!

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      Eloise
      22 Oct 2021
      5:10pm

      If I am reading your comments correctly, this would be the same “gentleman” Katie Couric dated after her husband died?

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        cw
        23 Oct 2021
        12:43pm

        yes, Eloise, one and the same.

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    The Prof
    22 Oct 2021
    7:11pm

    Went grey during the pandemic, aged 57. Just wore a hat all last summer and had my hubby cut it short a few times. By October, I had passed the skunk-look stage and was an ombré, so could take off the hat.
    I love it. I have no idea if I look much older — dark hair on an increasingly wrinkled face looked old, too. Truth is, I have no idea what people thought about my appearance before, either. We never do; we just imagine what they think. So imagine everyone who encounters you is thinking, “how fabulously interesting that woman must be!” And set yourself free from the constant coloring.

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    Sara
    22 Oct 2021
    8:02am

    Nothing like an article about growing out gray hair to get the comments buzzing! It’s apparently one of the most radical things a woman can do! 🙂 Mouseburger no more . Check out the recent NYT story on the subject, the comments were wild. Ps. I grew out my gray five years ago and think the only way out is through, but there are many ways to do it and a lot of blogs about it if any are considering a change.

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      BJ
      22 Oct 2021
      10:53am

      I am in my early 50s and just starting to gray and I loved this. I’ve been wondering when I am supposed to think I am gray enough to start coloring my hair (I don’t color it otherwise) and that piece has me thinking maybe I will not need or want to start coloring at all.

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      Shannon
      22 Oct 2021
      11:22am

      I transitioned to gray/white summer of 2020. I had to find a new stylist who was willing to help me so that was my first challenge. However, with her help I was able to go forward — it wasn’t an overnight process and involved growing out to about 2-3 inches, a few months of highlights and trims. I’ve only received good comments and I really don’t miss the time and money it took to color. I used to feel like there was shame in growing gray hair, but I don’t feel that way now days with more women heading in that direction. Good luck to anyone going through it!

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      Kathi
      22 Oct 2021
      9:11am

      I transitioned to gray this year and absolutely love it. My stylist added some low lights and I feel very rock n roll!!! Agree that the only way out is through, take the time, don’t do it in a day long appointment as that can be very damaging to the hair.

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Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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