Friday links

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17 Thoughts on Friday links
    Mamavalveeta03
    19 Mar 2021
    5:04pm

    Queen Vickie’s mourning jewelry is fascinating! And Daveed Diggs’ home is gorgeous! And so full of colorful, vibrant personality. It makes me think I’ve got to be more daring in my decor choices.

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    elizabeth
    19 Mar 2021
    3:53pm

    I love this site. I’ve found so many cute things on it. I think you might have mentioned the violence against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in past Friday links (but not last week’s either), but it makes me sad that none of the amazing thought pieces were mentioned on the links today. You do a great job of highlighting Black women and history (even today’s piece on Haiti), and I love those stories and history. But, part of our problem as an AAPI community is our invisibility. It has contributed to the stereotyping around us and allowed others to make light of our experiences and own racist history with this country. This week especially, that omission hurts.

    So, I’m linking to this highly relevant piece featured in Time, “We Are Always Waiting Our Turn to Be Important.”

    https://time.com/5947724/a-love-letter-to-asian-americans/

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      Kim France
      21 Mar 2021
      12:31pm

      Elizabeth, I’m sorry I let you down. I thought the article I did link to contained really useful information, and—after last week’s events—I felt strongly that I wanted to learn what I could do to make a difference—rather than read yet another think piece that enrages but doesn’t necessarily inspire one to action. Maybe that was wrong.

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        elizabeth
        2 Apr 2021
        2:33am

        @Kim France – Apologies. I was having a particularly bad day and had commented on a few other posts that vaguely condemned hatred, but did not mention against who or why. I missed the link in this post.

        @kimbersam – Allies are important. But if allyship is only given if a POC or community says truths or comments in a way that does not offend or hurt feelings, I question whether it is even allyship. Allies leave space to listen and let POC process because we never have space to process, and we are rarely heard. We are always exhausted because having these conversations is hard and, most of the time, is more emotionally fraught and taxing for us than the white person with whom we are having them. Because those conversations force us to relive our experience of being not the supremacy while white people get to live their lives not even thinking about race. We force ourselves into your whiteness and your definitions, and then anytime anyone challenges why those definitions and that supremacy of culture exist, you say we’re not doing it in the right way so of course you don’t have to act. Thanks for listening.

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        kimbersam
        21 Mar 2021
        6:18pm

        I’m about as liberal as you can be but the shaming of allies has.got.to.stop.

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          Kay
          22 Mar 2021
          1:01pm

          Sincere question here–if someone feels hurt by the actions of another, is there a way to express it that wouldn’t be potentially viewed as shaming the person whose actions had that impact of hurt? Would it be less shaming to your perspective if that was a private message rather than on the comment board? Or is it the expression of hurt and disappointment itself that is shaming? This is something I have been wrestling with in myself and am curious as to how others approach this.

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          Kim France
          22 Mar 2021
          9:13am

          Thanks, kimbersam, and well put.

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        Katy
        22 Mar 2021
        2:10pm

        I truly appreciated the link to sign up for bystander intervention training and signed up immediately. It is a relief to find that there is a (very small) thing I can do after reading the think pieces. The essay Elizabeth linked to in comments was powerful in showing the personal horror of racism and its many echoes, iterations and effects through the life and history of the writer. I feel a weight in my chest made of anger, fear, exhaustion, helplessness, and sadness. Thanks to both Elizabeth and Kim for your contributions. One showed me the way to a greater empathy and the other showed me the way to try to help make change.

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      Helen
      21 Mar 2021
      9:28am

      I agree with you, Elizabeth. A mass murder happened this week where six AAPI women were targeted for their race and killed. Why is there a lack of comments or discussion about this? I’m a longtime follower of this blog and I’ve read more comments about people’s dislike for jumpsuits or fanny packs. smh

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        Kim France
        21 Mar 2021
        12:28pm

        Do you think that’s an entirely fair criticism of what is primarily a shopping blog, Helen? I’d say that commenters here have more than exhibited an interest and concern regarding any number of social ills. Also, why presume that readers of this blog are sharing their thoughts about the mass murder here?

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    Eloise
    19 Mar 2021
    8:16am

    One of the (many) things I like about Friday links is the reprieve my eyes/wallet get from temptation. Not today – but at least I don’t have to worry about a Patreon membership not fitting – EIF and I have proven to be a great fit!

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    HickfromStyx
    19 Mar 2021
    11:23am

    Sigh. Can’t read those weekly articles behind a paywall.

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    Suju
    19 Mar 2021
    1:03pm

    That mourning jewelry – wow!!

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    cw
    19 Mar 2021
    2:18pm

    Usually I save the links for Saturday and Sunday perusal, but I jumped right on the Daveed Diggs & Emmy Raver-Lampman house tour. So worth it. So glad I did. What a great upbeat happy couple and what a beautiful and NOT ostentatious house. Thank you, Kim! Hope everyone has a positive weekend.

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    Gleaming the Cube
    19 Mar 2021
    2:26pm

    The old Sisters of Mercy fan in me really wants that Alice pin!

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    Viajera
    19 Mar 2021
    2:49pm

    I hate to sound like one of the thoooose people … and I’m kind of just trying to keep up, or at least, not be too far behind … anyhow, isn’t Africa part of the West? I thought there were at least a few monarchies there too. (They maybe don’t end up in Match as often?) But, I could be wrong. My impression was that everything not East must be West. Hmm. I don’t know, though. Now I have confused myself. Never mind…

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    Viajera
    19 Mar 2021
    2:56pm

    Okay, I hope this is the appropriate time to say these things, on a Friday with a multi-topic post. These are off-topic. First, I have made the amazing discovery that jasmine polyanthum is a great cut flower (the spray kind with the small pink buds). All this time, I’d been assuming it wasn’t bc professional florists never use it. Not so. Same with honeysuckle, btw. (At least, the kind we have. It’s light yellow/cream-color flowered.) And second, I watched the Nanook movie. (Sorry, i meant to remind people it was coming on, but I forgot.) I found it really very moving. Oh, I should say, this version was re-something-or-othered in 1998, so maybe they took a bunch of offensive things out? One would need to be some kind of an idiot not to feel tremendous admiration for this family. And, they seemed happy together and very healthy, too, which is saying something given the environment. It looks like a very hard life. I guess probably no one lives it anymore. I thought it was an amazing film and I’m glad I watched it. Sorry I went on so long about it!

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Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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