What is the most nuts thing you’ve ever done in the name of love (or lust)?

97

I avoided the entire neighborhood of Soho for two years after having my heart badly broken by one of its inhabitants.  I moved across the country to Seattle after college to be with the Outward Bound instructor I’d taken up with in Joshua Tree on one of their trips. I traveled to Chicago when my grandmother died, and on the eve of her funeral, hooked up with an old college flame. And, most recently, I took up bicycling in New York City. Please top me.

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97 Thoughts on What is the most nuts thing you’ve ever done in the name of love (or lust)?
    ruth
    21 Feb 2019
    4:34pm

    I got involved with a woman (for the first time at 30) even though she worked closely with my brother, was my best friend’s best friend, and was in love with her ex — who actively despised me, also worked with my brother, was married to a man, and who lived three houses down from me. We secretly dated for three months and told no one, and I’d never felt so out-of-control in love. I should have listened to her when she told me I was too good for her. But it was still worth it.

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    Anchorette
    19 Feb 2019
    3:00am

    Fell in love with my gondolier, 10 years my senior, while on my birthday gondola ride in Venice on my 33rd birthday, while sitting beside my Spouse of 9 years. Got divorced within 4 weeks of getting ‘home’ and I packed up and went back to Venice with only his email address, a photo and his promise to meet me at the airport. Which he did. We only managed to disentangle after 9 intense years of crazy love, lots of airmiles and the tears which became too many.

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      Jessica Reid
      19 Feb 2019
      6:04am

      WOW!
      Please tell us more

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        anchorette
        19 Feb 2019
        9:24am

        Suffice it to say, for my time in Venice, I became very adept at polishing a Gondola, speaking Italian and Venetian, memorizing the city and helping tourists get ‘un-lost’ while enjoying some amazing food, wine, conversations and learning how to live with the “pinch me I live here” feeling 🙂

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          Jess
          20 Feb 2019
          1:42am

          Please write a book about this! What a great adventure.

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    Rosie
    18 Feb 2019
    3:38am

    Freshly divorced. Randomly decided to take a trip. Booked everything at midnight and was on a plane at 7am the next morning. I pull up to my Airbnb, walk in, and quickly realize that I’m going to fall in love with my host. An hour later I’m in his copper bathtub (with him) taking a bubble bath. We rub each other’s feet. We haven’t kissed yet. He definitely checked me out naked though. An hour later we are driving over the bridge to get burgers – fists pumping in the air – windows down – belting out Shadows of the Night. Almost missed my plane. A year later I quit my job and move across the country. This is followed by skinny dipping at midnight in water filled with bioluminescent dinoflagellates and dolphins, a road trip through the Dominican Republic where he bribed military police with dried mangos, and more drama than General Hospital in the 1980s. This drama included being left on a sparsely inhabited island and having to figure out how to boat myself home. The boat didn’t have gas but I have had organic chemistry and was able to identify and steal some marine gas from an open garage by smell. It didn’t work out but it also made me feel alive.

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    Jessica
    17 Feb 2019
    3:28am

    This is more something that was done for me out of love. A few weeks after I started dating a guy, I auditioned for a performing group – singing, dancing, jazz hands…you get the jist. The guy had a beautiful singing voice, but thought the group was ridiculous and didn’t audition, though he supported me in doing so. A couple of weeks later, we took a break as I had an ex that had come back into the picture and it was complicated. The same week I broke up with said guy, the director of the performing group called him up and asked him to be part of the group. When the guy told me, I laughed and asked him, “How did you let him down easy?”
    “I didn’t,” he replied.
    “What?” I asked.
    “Yeah, I think I’m going to do the group.”
    This meant we would be spending every Saturday night from 6-12 together in rehearsal. This also meant he’d be out $3,500. He promised it wouldn’t be awkward. And it wasn’t….because we fell in love, his plan all along. It must have been the jazz hands (LOL).
    12 years of marriage and two precocious little boys later, I am so grateful the director made that phone call. And joining the group? It’s still the sweetest sacrifice my husband has ever made for me.

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    Lauren
    16 Feb 2019
    4:14pm

    Flew to Dublin on a whim on a Friday night by bouncing a check (back when you could still write paper checks) after telling the AerLingus airline’s ticket agent that I’d been mugged and didn’t have any credit cards. Had only $20 in my pocket that I spent on a cab to the hotel where said person was staying. Although he’d suggested I fly over to see his band play, I didn’t tell him i was coming until i showed up at the hotel. Luckily he was there. Luckily he wasn’t in bed with someone else. Luckily when i flew home on Sunday night AerLingus still didn’t realize my check had bounced. I paid it off in installments. It was worth it.

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    Kara
    15 Feb 2019
    6:51pm

    This thread is hysterical. I think my nuttiest are: shooting and killing a gopher (then bursting into tears because that was horrible!), almost getting taken out by an avalanche, and quitting art college to backpack around South America (ultimately solo).

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    Tracy
    15 Feb 2019
    7:22pm

    One evening, a man I’d never met said, “Hello.” My inner voice replied, “Oh, there you are.” Three days later, he asked me to marry him. I said yes. We married within the week. Completely nuts. Thirty years and two kids later, we still marvel at it.

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      Regina
      17 Feb 2019
      6:00pm

      This took my breath away.

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    Ari
    15 Feb 2019
    8:43pm

    Realized I was in madly and insanely in love with my boyfriend’s cousin/roommate/bandmate while shrooming with both of them, told the cousin, pulled a Yoko Ono and broke up the band, got him kicked out of the house, spent 3 days in a bed with him while his immediate and extended family members called and sent threatening text messages to both of us, and didn’t know where we were. We dated for 3 years, got on good terms with his family, but broke up when we realized we couldn’t make it work in the “real world.” I’ll never forget the intensity of our connection and love – it was almost dreamlike! And felt URGENT!- i will forever hold those first 3 days in my heart.

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    Elizabeth
    16 Feb 2019
    12:19am

    Thought I met the boy of my dreams in college. Dated in the Spring and then followed him to D.C. for the summer thinking the relationship would continue. Turned down a summer job in NYC and, after I got to D.C., he told me he had mono and then his parents screened my calls all summer. Never saw him the entire humid jobless summer. Went abroad in the fall, and he started writing to me. Next semester returned to school thinking the letters meant he “liked” me. Found out he only wanted to be friends when a mutual friend thought he was complimenting me when he used us as great example of how exes could be amazing platonic friends. Ouch. Don’t regret moving to D.C., just wish the boy had the backbone to break my heart directly.

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    MaryAlice
    15 Feb 2019
    3:10pm

    So, in college I had a roommate who had a jealous boyfriend. She was from the midwest originally and had a college buddy who was coming out to see his team play in the Rose Bowl and was going to stay with us. Roommate boyfriend gets super jealous when he hears this plan, and she asks me to please entertain this guy when he shows up . I was annoyed, being asked to babysit some random guy. Well, he showed up and he was…..adorable. Anyway, we were thrown together and he was cute, so I proceeded to spend the weekend entertaining him in the best way I knew how while roommate and boyfriend deal with his shit. Midwestern boy left, went home, we ost touch and became a fond memory. This was in the early ’80’s. Just a few weeks ago, my old roommate sent me a picture out of the blue. It was taken at a New Year’s Eve party that I had totally forgotten. There he is, standing and looking down at me, and there I am, in my Laura Ashley dress, looking up at him like a cat looks at a canary.

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    Melissa Porras
    15 Feb 2019
    5:38pm

    I was 18 and my boyfriend was put in a 30 day rehab for smoking weed (this was 1996). On Valentine’s Eve, I drove 90 minutes to the rehab and he tied his bed sheets together so I could sneak in through the second floor window. Every 30 minutes I had to hide under the bed during the nightly rounding. I colored his hair red that evening and made it back in time for school the next morning.

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    Jax
    15 Feb 2019
    2:53pm

    I was in torrid love with, or else, I had a crazy infatuation with a coworker at a college part-time job — 7 years older than me. My first love. He just wanted to be friends for a long time, because he was focused on, or obsessed with his career ambitions. Lust and emotion got too much — I propositioned him one night after movie and dinner (yes, we went out on friend dates) and he totally went for it. But it was just a fling to him, he broke my heart. I still loved and hated him for a couple years after. I wrote a hateful letter to him (back in the day before emails) that I regret, but then again not really. I even creepily drove to his house at night, trying to get a glimpse of him. I, a perfectly reasonable person all other times, went mad. To be honest, I still think about having sex with him now — I was pretty inexperienced then, but I do think about the stuff I could do to him (later).

    Fortunately and eventually, got over it. I never generally propositioned guys (I admire women who do so regularly), but I did have a crush (nowhere as bad) on another guy friend years later and I did it again while he was probably trying to get close to another friend of mine. He let me down very gently and respectfully. I was crushed, but not as bad. I survived! He wasn’t my friend’s type either, so whew.

    Ended up marrying the kindest, most open-hearted, adventurous (in some ways), hot man I’ve met. He was a boy when we met, but he was really a man underneath. Realized that that’s the greatest adventure of all sometimes — 2 people being completely open and forgiving with each other. Hate to sound so granola — but growing together. We went to Burning Man, we did mushrooms, we partied it up, but also worked together, and now have a fantastic kid. Most of all, we talk talk talk share share share — we love music and ideas. We rant about politics. He’s not so movie star hot now with a Dad bod (he’s working on it), but he’s still pretty good. I took a HUGE chance on him and I’m still taking that chance on him, even though it’s been pretty rocky at times. He does the same for me. That’s all you can do.

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    Lorna Gottesman
    15 Feb 2019
    11:07am

    high and lusty I kissed my roommate in a summer share The August after sophomore year, back in 1989. It felt crazy and scary and coming out meant I was making my own future without the guidelines i’d been given. Queerness gave me: a language for understanding myself, my difference, in a way that was positive. My queerness made an asset out of the awkward difference that had always haunted me, kept me separate from those around me. It gave me a community of other different travelers where suddenly I was seen, embraced, celebrated. My queerness gave me, finally, a place where I could be fully myself, and for this I am deeply and eternally grateful. Surprising, thanks to generations of folks who came before, with and after me. My life wasn’t so different form the one I saw before me as a kid marriage, a child, (and divorce)

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    Kelly Simmons
    15 Feb 2019
    11:21am

    Not quite romantic in a traditional sense — but when my foodie friend and I were in Paris, we went to the block where Ina Garten supposedly lived and ran up and down the streets yelling, “Jeffrey! Ina!” because we love them and wanted to eat cheese with them.

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      Monica
      16 Feb 2019
      9:09am

      This is amazing and something I want to do. I loooove Ina And Jeffrey.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      22 Feb 2019
      12:03am

      Ina gets her hair cut at the salon my daughter goes to. One day, my Anna was getting a cut and Ina was in the next chair, also getting a cut. Anna had NO CLUE who she was sitting next to until her stylist said, “You know who that was, right?” while I freaked out. 😉

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    Mimi
    15 Feb 2019
    11:28am

    For love: In the early 90s I was living in Los Angeles and enjoying a long, long-distance affair with a New Yorker. We’d planned to rendezvous while I was in NY visiting my parents, but then his father died. I borrowed my Dad’s car and drove 3 hours in the driving rain to the wilder shores of Ocean City, N.J. to console him for a few days. I can’t remember what cover story I told my parents, but no one knew where I was. If anything had happened to me or the car on the drive…….After returning to NY safely I learned that the FBI had foiled a terrorist plot to blow up the Holland Tunnel the day I’d driven out of NY. OMG! For lust: Many years earlier, before my first marriage, a sweet, sexy boyfriend and I went to Mammoth Mountain for a weekend of skiing. With a nice tequila buzz on, we joined an impromptu “party” at a natural hot spring, a popular apres-ski gathering place. As the stars twinkled above the snow-covered peaks and the mostly nude revelers, we spontaneously began making love. Perhaps our bodies were underwater, or maybe not. Probably no one noticed, or cared. The urgency of our desire, our happiness and utter abandon was more intoxicating than the tequila. Ah, youth.

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    Chris
    15 Feb 2019
    1:59pm

    At age 48, packed up my 15 year old son, 3 cats and moved from Canada to Switzerland to marry my (first/last)husband.
    Backstory: My husband and I had both grown up in a small town in the middle of Canada, he was a good chum of my older brother and we all hung around (loosely) until our early 20’s, when we scattered, me to West Coast/Rockies and G to the UK, then Switz. I had only seen G once in 20 years but when he was back in Canada to see family and we had a friendly afternoon then dinner …2 weeks later we started a torrid email romance and long distance (for me anyways) meets in London for 6 months and then I sold my house and took the plunge.

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      kara
      15 Feb 2019
      6:30pm

      I also packed up my life and moved overseas for Love. Even though that didn’t last ‘forever’, I recommend it. It’s a wonderful thing to do!

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        cant
        16 Feb 2019
        6:44am

        so did I, but in midst of regrets. these stories are giving me some hope, though!

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    d
    14 Feb 2019
    5:12pm

    oh where to start… after a marriage that was dying a slow and prolonged death (and learning that one should never marry the first guy you sleep with), went up to Vancouver BC to meet up with a lifelong friend, and managed to coordinate a meetup with a dude I’d met online many years ago (he was married, but we both had a crazy love for music– it was purely a platonic “hey dude” meetup). Met up with him at the designated place, told him I was actually in the process of leaving my husband, and he said, “oh, my wife left me two weeks ago.” We remained great friends for a couple of years, but finally figured out that we were insanely attracted to one another. Dated long distance for 9 years, and got married last year. We’re still living in 2 different places, which is difficult to explain to more traditional folks, but honestly, it’s quite refreshing. He lives his life, I live mine, we both love and trust one another completely, and our time spent together is precious and memorable. I’ll make the move hopefully in the next year, after jumping through some legal/permanent residency hoops, but still love him like crazy. Took me 38 years to find one of the good guys, but he’s golden.

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      a
      14 Feb 2019
      6:44pm

      I married the first guy I slept with (23 years ago), so that’s not a rule for everyone IMO. Probably good for most people, but not everyone.

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        d
        15 Feb 2019
        9:10pm

        Glad it worked out for you. I should also mention my ex was an undiagnosed depressive/narcissist which was a big part of it too. Major lady boner killer.

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    LD
    14 Feb 2019
    5:15pm

    I fell in love with a French a guy and I was going to join him in Toulouse. Left my job at a NYC ad agency, sublet my apartment and days before I was due to leave NYC he dumped me. I was supposed to go to Toulouse but went to Paris when a friend of my family offered their “apartment” for 3 weeks. The “apartment” was an unheated hovel that got sunlight between 2 and 2.15 in the afternoon. I got a job, worked my way up from secretary to administrator and have since lived in Paris, France for over 25 years.

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    Tis
    14 Feb 2019
    6:17pm

    Overstayed my Thai visa by a month because I was canoodling with the local fruit vendor who didn’t speak a lick of English. He had other licks sorted out though. Heyo!!

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      Louise
      15 Feb 2019
      10:15pm

      Awesome. The best story so far.

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    Anna
    14 Feb 2019
    6:33pm

    At just 21, married a guy I’d known for six weeks, as he was moving overseas (I went with him). It lasted 5 years but we’re still friends 45 years later. Then much later, moved from California to Australia, leaving job, home, friends, cat, to be with my first ever love, with whom I’d reconnected after 33 years. Bliss.

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    Rae
    14 Feb 2019
    8:19pm

    Lust in my 20’s. Very cute boy in my apartment building. After platonic hanging out for a few weeks, one night I simply decided I wanted him. I got naked, put on my coat, knocked on his door, he let me in, closed the door, and I dropped my coat. Awesome 24 hours. Ooo to be young and confident.

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    Jen
    14 Feb 2019
    9:11pm

    After being brutally betrayed by my boyfriend (I caught him sleeping with someone) at 28, I flew to Belize by myself and ending up having a hot affair with my Belizean dive instructor. It was my Jen Got Her Groove Back trip. And I got certified!

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      Kara
      15 Feb 2019
      6:33pm

      …and I got certified. Brilliant!

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    Sue
    14 Feb 2019
    9:24pm

    None of it’s nuts. Love. Nothing more worthy to fight for!

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      Sue
      14 Feb 2019
      9:38pm

      Awesome stories everyone. Thanks for sharing!

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    Alexa
    14 Feb 2019
    9:48pm

    Married him.

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    Rachel
    14 Feb 2019
    10:52pm

    Okay I don’t have a story because I managed to meet my soulmate at 19 (I’m 43 and he’s 44, still married and best friends) but I FREAKED when I saw the Say Anything pic because I’ve been crushing on John Cusack since my DH surprised me with VIP tix to MEET the man himself and take a picture with him next month. Apparently John is a bit crazy these days (check out his twitter) but my inner 16 year old has been squeeeeing non stop. Anyways, random story totally unrelated to anything here.
    Happy Valentine’s Day, all!

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    Sal
    15 Feb 2019
    12:20am

    despite never wanting children i took up with a man with a young child and a very difficult, vengeful ex. it’s been 15 years and i wouldn’t want to be with anyone else despite the challenges.

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    Nicole
    15 Feb 2019
    12:26am

    In college I met and fell head over heels for a cute nerdy engineer guy from the east coast. Since I was from the west coast, and being a flirt, we hooked up but never were boyfriend/girlfriend. At that point I was very old fashioned and declined having sex. We had amazing chemistry and long heartfelt talks. And so I thought I missed my chance to be with him.

    After he graduated college, he sent me the most untraditional love letter.

    And a few years later, we reconnected in DC. Madly, truly, crazy love. April, cherry blossom trees in bloom, an night with a terrific lightening/thunder storm. And…we had mind blowing sex.

    Over 25 years later, such sweet memories. I hope he is loved and happy with his partner now.

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    Sabryna
    14 Feb 2019
    1:06pm

    For six years I had a crush on a guy who worked in another building at the university where we both worked. Finally, hearing through students that he and his girlfriend had broken up, and tired of waiting around for something that would allow us to actually meet — a committee, a convocation, anything — I learned that a mutual friend (my friend, his acquaintance) had a birthday coming up. I convinced this reclusive, nerdy, sweet man that he really needed to have a party to celebrate. I cleaned the man’s house, bought lamps and pillows and things to make it nice, cooked food, bought booze, the whole nine. The party was fabulous, and is a tradition carried on to this day. As for my stalkee? Dear reader, I married him!

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      Lorna Gottesman
      15 Feb 2019
      10:01am

      YASSS. Well done! and well written!

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    Cyndi Colzani
    14 Feb 2019
    1:11pm

    My boyfriend at the time hired me to do graphic design for projects he was working on. He also asked if I would loan him some money. I did both. He never reimbursed me for the loan, or paid me for the work. When the relationship ended, his new girlfriend accused me of holding him back because I wouldn’t give him access to the design work I’d done for him. I should also mention that I was a single mom with two kids still at home. It was a huge blow, and an important lesson.

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    Mae
    14 Feb 2019
    1:21pm

    I got married at 19 (he was 28) and we immediately moved 1,700 miles away from everyone we knew. Forty (!!!) years later, we’re still married. It’s been a wild ride the whooooole time. Happy Valentine’s Day to all GOACAs! Love, Mae

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    ValleyOfTheShoes
    14 Feb 2019
    2:08pm

    Two things come to mind. One was learning how to paraglide and go paragliding a bunch of times, solo mind you. How I did not die or break bones is a small miracle. Two is learning how to ride a motorcycle and get our license together, a lifelong dream for both of us. We haven’t really ridden bikes since then but we did become each other’s ride or die via marriage.

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    Viajera
    14 Feb 2019
    2:25pm

    Ooh, so I have another request. It is because you are all so smart with good taste! I blame *you.* (kidding) And don’t worry, I usually google things too, but, there are so many weirdos online. (!)

    Anyway, if … IF … one wanted to subscribe to a magazine because there is a need for kitchen renovations … which one would it be?

    or would one just use the web? See, the thing is, I like to seeeee things. And what I want is simplicity … which I think is usually the best way to go, both aesthetically and financially. Yet, that is not in the interest of the publishers, right?

    And I don’t even like current trends, I like white appliances (so sue me). When I see pictures of typical high end furniture now, I think, “hmm it is striking but I’d never want to sit on it. My back hurts from looking.” (Unless it is Mitchell and Bob pictures, their stuff looks pretty nice.)

    Maybe I will try architecture mags (at the library). Then it will turn out whatever it is will cost too much, but, oh well. That is a separate issue.

    Sorry for all the off-topic today, but I don’t post during work, so, anytime I get a chance, whatever’s on my mind just flies out.

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      Christy
      15 Feb 2019
      10:09pm

      I love Lonny (lots of kitchen pics: http://www.lonny.com/photos/Kitchen). They haven’t published their online magazine for a few years; now they do more of a blog format.

      Also loved this kitchen and the 18-inch dishwasher! (although it’s in that stainless steel finish)
      https://cupofjo.com/2019/01/small-house-tour-shavonda-gardner/

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      Tamara H.
      14 Feb 2019
      9:22pm

      I am an interior designer, and I usually recommend clients use Houzz or Pinterest. There are some good publications too but they tend to be slanted toward a particular aesthetic, so maybe start with the internet first to figure out your style and what you really want. It’s really fast and easy to create an idea book of images online, and as you collect them into an idea book, take note of what it is you like (or don’t like). Once you’ve spent some time doing this, you’ll start to see the common thread stylistically in what you like and what you want to implement in your own space. All the best to you with your renovation!

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        Viajera
        15 Feb 2019
        3:25pm

        Thanks! Will do.

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    DL
    14 Feb 2019
    2:39pm

    I became a vegetarian at 16 to get the attention of the head of our high school’s PETA chapter. His attention lasted for about 3 months. The vegetarianism lasted for 27 years, and counting.

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    Cedar
    14 Feb 2019
    3:23pm

    Dated long distance for 6 years. Now married (and living in the same place) for 5 years, but that was a long haul.

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    Vanessa
    14 Feb 2019
    3:56pm

    I had a boyfriend with terrible psoriasis and he slept in a very active way, meaning he moved around in his sleep and woke me up.
    I threw out my bed and replaced it with a futon, which didn’t shake as much but was so uncomfortable (I was 30, too old for a goddamn futon).
    He also had a habit of taking notes during phone calls by writing on the wall near the phone. My wall. When I finally broke up with him (not because of the psoriasis), I painted my tiny rental apartment, and I bought a new bed. I vowed I would never throw out a big piece of furniture for a guy with a skin disorder EVER AGAIN. And if anyone writes on the walls (and are not my own toddlers, who are now too old to write on walls), they are dead to me.

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      G
      15 Feb 2019
      5:41pm

      WTF! Who writes on other people’s walls… or any walls! Unless you’re a graffiti artist, grow the eff up and have some respect!

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      SARA
      22 Feb 2019
      10:46pm

      What does his autoimmune disease have to do with any of this, though?

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    MarlaD
    14 Feb 2019
    4:13pm

    I “took a break” from graduate school six months shy of my degree because he was tired of me studying all the time. Shortly afterward I found out he had been seeing someone else behind my back, he moved out, moved in with her and married her. I never went back and finished. I became a success anyway, and he’s dead.

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      jill
      14 Feb 2019
      4:58pm

      that is some serious Karma.

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      Alexa
      14 Feb 2019
      9:39pm

      That sentence is glorious.

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    Debra K
    14 Feb 2019
    12:02pm

    So many…but some highlights: Moved across country twice for different men. Pretended to enjoy sleeping in a tent and camping on many occasions for a lovely man who just wasn’t the one. Had a one night stand with a man and had to look secretly look through his mail on the coffee table the next morning to remember his name. Went to a sex club years ago with a lover which was waaaaay outside my comfort zone but turned out to be a lesson in the power of the words yes and no. After that, I never had trouble saying no to anyone or asking for what I wanted personally or professionally. Sometimes doing crazy things in the name of love gets us to the places where we learn the most about ourselves – no regrets for any of the relationships that were shakily built on lust and bad choices, just grateful they happened long ago when there was no social media to document my shameless ways!!!

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      Linda Thomas Anderson
      20 Feb 2019
      5:04pm

      “Sometimes doing crazy things in the name of love gets us to the places where we learn the most about ourselves” –Debra K. That may be the wisest thing I’ve ever read!

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    Lisa Hansen
    14 Feb 2019
    12:07pm

    I quit my job, moved out of my apartment, and stored my stuff with my folks to follow my then-boyfriend to China: the university where he was based doing PhD research wanted an English teacher and I qualified by virtue of having a pulse and being a native English speaker. I got off the plane in Beijing and we got engaged the next day, married in the registry office in Hong Kong and will celebrate our 25th anniversary next week.

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    Mamavalveeta03
    14 Feb 2019
    12:27pm

    In college:Fell head over heels for an older man on a blind date set up by my roomie & her boyfriend (Don’t laugh,he was 23…I was 18.) He pyrsuedme relentlessly, which I found enormously flattering since he was drop-dead good looking. (We called him the Marlboro Man!) Hitch-hiked with my roomie across the state to spend St. Patrick’s wknd with our guys, lost my virginity to Heart’s “Dog and Butterfly.” The next day, he took off to be with his acid friends and other than seeing him occasionally when he visited his younger brother at college, that was The End. Got back at him by hooking up with his cute brother. 🙂
    Married the love of my life 6 days after graduation. We started out as friends whining about our horrible relationships over fried cheese curds after bar time at an all night off-campus diner. As he changed careers from Forest Rangerto Minister, we’ve moved cross country several times, had 3 girls, wilderness camped in the Boundary Waters, hiked Giant Mtn in the Adirondacks (couch potato me!) and look forward to retirement in 7 yrs. CRAZY!

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    Manda Miel
    14 Feb 2019
    12:38pm

    Oh, Lands. When my husband came out of the closet ~7 years ago, I began serially dating men who were, on average, 8 years my junior. They were ALL handsome, buff, horrendous in the kitchen (great in the sack), underemployed, preferred the finer things in life, and oddly prone to boredom hissy-fits. (I’ve been blissfully date-free and slightly wealthier for 3 years now.)

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    S.S.
    14 Feb 2019
    10:10am

    One of my favorite ones doesn’t sound crazy at all: Finally, after weeks of “running into him” at college parties, hanging out for hours and having nothing fucking happen… I got exasperated and told the object of my desire: If it’s not already obvious, I have a huge crush on you. Do you want to do something about it? He responded, very nicely, that, no, he wasn’t going to do anything about it. It wasn’t going to ever happen. It might not sound crazy or big or worth mentioning at all… but admitting I really liked him and being turned down to my face was weirdly liberating. Gearing up to the moment felt terrifying but the moment itself was funny and felt totally fine. Before that I was the girl waiting to be asked. After that I became the girl who was able to say what she wanted.

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      STEPHANIE GANGI
      14 Feb 2019
      11:18am

      I wrote an entire novel about it, POV me as a ghost who comes back to haunt him. So there!

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    Liz
    14 Feb 2019
    10:41am

    Mine’s kind of terrible, but it was almost 20 years ago and I’ve gotten much more responsible since then. I once dated this cute rockabilly guy who drank a lot. We’d meet at clubs and by the time he was ready to dance, he’d had quite a few drinks. He’d accidentally bust my lip open by elbowing me in the face while spinning me, or drop me on my head while flipping me upside down. I thought the whole thing was hilarious.

    He also drove a small Honda motorcycle. I’d let him drive me home, and we fell off the bike at least twice, once on Halloween while I was dresssed as Wonder Woman and landed in a puddle. I was so, so dumb, and am very grateful I was the only one injured by our antics.

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    LeighTX
    14 Feb 2019
    11:03am

    I got married at the age of 20.

    Second most nuts thing I’ve done: before the summer between freshman and sophomore year, when I’d be separated from my beloved for three long months, I wrote a note for every. single. day. we’d be apart and put them in a box for him to open daily. Like most of my ideas, it took way longer than I expected and probably wasn’t worth it. :/ But we’ve been married 28 years and I can’t imagine being with anyone else, so I guess it really was love!

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    RSM
    14 Feb 2019
    11:19am

    It was 1986. I was 9. My sister was 13. We were on a family vacation in Chautauqua, NY — a small town in western New York. The hottest movie of the year was St. Elmo’s Fire. Rob Lowe was Teen Beat’s heartthrob of the decade. My sister and I were smitten with him. Actually, his beauty was the only thing we agreed on. We heard that Rob Lowe and his girlfriend (Melissa Gilbert) were going to in Chautauqua that day to visit the writer of St. Elmo’s Fire, who was also vacationing there. Kismet, we thought. We hopped on our banana-seat bikes and prowled the streets of Chautauqua, past the general store, around the lake, up the hills. And finally, we spotted Rob Lowe, in a long trench coat, walking with a group of very hip people. We sped up to him, stopped our bikes right in front of him, and said, “Hi!” He looked right at us, quizzically. And then we sped away, giggling. It was the highlight of my summer. Rob Lowe. Xoxo.

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      Jess
      19 Feb 2019
      6:15am

      1986 is Peak Lowe. What a memory!

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      Lucy
      14 Feb 2019
      6:43pm

      This is AMAZING! Still one of my favorite movies!!!!!

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      Kerry
      18 Feb 2019
      1:15pm

      Love this so much — I also have a sister who would have done the same thing with me, AND we have been to Chautauqua. Probably that very same summer.

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    Kate
    14 Feb 2019
    11:37am

    HOLD MY BEER. I paid $1,800 for a pet detective to find the corpse of my then-boyfriend’s cat after the kitty ran off near the highway, escaping from his carrier. It’s still sad, but I could use that money now.

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      Alexa
      14 Feb 2019
      9:43pm

      I need to know more. And I’m willing to pay for drinks ; )

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      Viajera
      14 Feb 2019
      11:40am

      There really are pet detectives? Also did s/he find the poor kitty?

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    Viajera
    14 Feb 2019
    11:42am

    Great stories!

    On another topic … a friend seeks a moisturizing lip pencil (I suppose a stain might work too). In addition to the Nars satin lip pencil, which we will check out, does anyone else have a favorite?

    Thanks! sorry to interrupt.

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    Claire
    14 Feb 2019
    11:52am

    At 39, I conceived our (biracial) child, left my job, and moved to another country (the U.S., where I’d rather not be), all causing a permanent rift with my parents. Wow, when I put it that way, it seems like a lot. 🙂

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      Viajera
      14 Feb 2019
      2:12pm

      It’s none of my business, of course. But, if you wanted the rift to end … well, grandchildren are famous for changing people’s minds. Race, schmace.

      I am glad you and the child are doing well – that’s the most important thing.

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        Claire
        15 Feb 2019
        10:50am

        Hope springs eternal. I mean, *I* think our son is the most wonderful thing ever 🙂 and I would love for things to be different. And thank you for that last line. xo

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    Rosie
    14 Feb 2019
    12:02pm

    File this under the lust category. One time I was with my boyfriend, we had been drinking and partying at a casino in Lake Tahoe. We were driving home, up this huge hill called Kingsbury Grade and I slowly stripped naked in the cab of the pickup and threw all my clothes out the window.

    Which is so much more hilarious than taking golf lessons, which I did too, because this cute guy played golf. So I learned, we played golf and some other things and got married. It is a good marriage, just the best.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      14 Feb 2019
      1:04pm

      Oh man! I’ve always wanted to do that. (Strip and toss my clothes out the window, not golf.)

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    kimbersam
    14 Feb 2019
    9:25am

    Got engaged to my long distance BF (who was a family friend prior to us getting together) and moved to Los Angeles to be with him. He no-showed at the airport, so I stayed with a relative. The next day I found out he had a live-in girlfriend and had spent the $ I sent him to set up our household on their household.

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      Alexa
      14 Feb 2019
      9:46pm

      Oh. My. Gawd.

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      Doyenne
      16 Feb 2019
      9:16am

      So, I just started watching the “Lorena” docu-series on Prime. I mean, I’m just sayin’… 😉

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    c.w.
    14 Feb 2019
    9:41am

    I became a ski instructor FOR SIX YEARS even though I hate being cold and hate skiing (love). Moved to Kansas City, Mo.(thought it was love) Flew to Paris for the weekend for wild romance, but nothing happened because he already had a mistress there which I didn’t know (lust). Gave a $25k donation to a non-profit because I thought he’d love me more if I did. He didn’t. (plain fiscal stupidity)

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      c.w.
      14 Feb 2019
      11:53am

      Should also mention the $25k was money I’d saved up to buy a new car. No new car, no new love. A friend of mine once said my learning curve was a flat line. This particular incident is proof of that!

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        Sara
        14 Feb 2019
        12:36pm

        Hahaha about the learning curve! But glad you have a sense of humor about it.

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    y.k.
    14 Feb 2019
    9:52am

    I had a huge crush in high school on a boy who wasn’t in any of my classes and my best friend had a crush on his twin. We couldn’t figure out their schedules so we went to the secretary in the admin office and told her we needed the schedules of some students for a science experiment we were conducting. Bizarrely she believed us and gave us the schedules, including those of the twins and we were able to stalk them for the rest of the year (we were both too shy to do anything but stalk). I’ve done some other wacky things in the name of love, but I remember this one fondly.
    Looking forward to all the comments!

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      maryse roudier
      14 Feb 2019
      11:27am

      At 40 i married him and left my beloved Boston and moved to the suburbs. Doesn’t seem crazy but for pathologically independent me it was huge. Still married but still hate the suburbs.

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    RebeccaNYC
    18 Feb 2019
    9:27am

    Wanting to have sex with a guy 15 years younger than me finally gave me the courage to leave my sexless (married for 7 years, no sex for 6 years) marriage. Never looked back.

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    Caroline
    18 Feb 2019
    9:15pm

    Ok. This is more of a he’s more crazy than me story. Not in a good way.
    I had a ridiculously hot and not particularly truthful foreign boyfriend.
    I was sure he was cheating but didn’t want to quit him.. like i said, really hot. i looked in his planner, looked at his phone. Not great. Finally a mutual friend told me the truth. I confronted him. He threatened to have said friend murdered by Japanese mob if he didn’t leave town..we were all art students.. wtf! I haven’t thought about this in years..
    I’m sure he’s somewhere cheating on some poor woman. Happy its not me.

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    CG
    17 Feb 2019
    10:07pm

    I was 14 and I had this older college guy (around 19) for a neighbor whom I had a huge crush on. We were sort of friends and he lent me alt-rock mixed tapes (this was in the 90s!!!!) all throughout summer break. This went on for around 2-3 weeks until he finally lent me a cassette tape of Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged Album with a note written inside: “I would love to hang out more with you.” Unfortunately, I chickened out (I was 14 and I did not know what to do) and I sent back the tape with his note. He stopped lending me mixed tapes immediately right after, and we lost touch and I never saw him again. I don’t know where he is now (I forgot his last name so I could never find him on social media). I remember his note and his handwriting and eventually years later married someone who isn’t him but has the same handwriting. Unfortunately, my husband does not like Nirvana that much and mixed tapes are replaced by Spotify playlists.

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    Stacey
    17 Feb 2019
    12:16pm

    This was totally for lust not love. I drove over two mountain passes in a Colorado blizzard to spend a weekend with someone, this was before cell phones. I made it to the ski town with only an approximation of where they were staying. Never found them (I tried until 2 am), then drove over a different pass and slept in my car in a different town on my way home, back to the other guy I was datings house at 5 in the morning (classy huh?)

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    Amber
    16 Feb 2019
    8:17am

    I came out as a lesbian so I could love freely and openly. That is all. Simple concept… giant risk.

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    Liz
    19 Feb 2019
    10:43am

    I fell in love with my best friend in High School when I was 16. He had a girlfriend that he was nuts about but I told him anyway. He loved me but he loved her more. He broke my heart (more than once) but long story short he finally figured out what I had known all along – that we belonged together. Now we’re married and have 3 gorgeous kids. It’s awesome but not always easy. We broke up for a year. We just barely survived our first year of marriage. But one time in college I borrowed my roommate’s brand new car to spend one night with him (and his entire lacrosse team) in a nasty hotel in Delaware. Another time he flew from DC to Australia to see me for 2 days and then fly back. I still see him the same way that I did when he was 16- not at all perfect but perfect for me.

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    A
    26 Feb 2019
    11:36am

    When I was in my early thirties, a graffiti/tattoo artist from Mexico had a show at a museum where I was working at the time. From the moment we laid eyes on each other while he was assisting art handlers in the galleries with his install, it was just an intense, dirty, crazy connection. He milked his broken English to suggest he needed a guide to take him around to a few other museums in the city – and I informed the director that guide could be me. We made out in cabs between museum stops and in the dark corners of galleries no one ever goes into (think 17th century decorative arts vibes). A week later, he was back to open the show and attend a gala – where we snuck off and had sex on top of my desk in the museum offices. And then later in my bed, he drew a huge, beautiful tattoo down my naked back. And it washed off down the shower drain the next morning as he flew back home to Mexico. Ah, sweet, sweet youth.

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    M
    24 Feb 2019
    12:29pm

    Oh gosh, maybe this is pretty tame in comparison but it was HUGE for me.
    Ever the girl always waiting around to be “asked” I worked up the (re: tipsy) courage to make the first move.
    I went up behind said man at the bar and…pinched his butt. While he was on a date with another woman. Aaaaand it worked! We have been together for 10 years, married for 5 with a little girl. And he still has the cutest butt.

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Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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