As usual, I loved the podcast…I will have to go back and finish watching The Last Movie Stars––I was part way through and became so disillusion and disappointed with the two of them regarding Paul’s first wife that I just had to turn it off. As to marriage…years ago I realized that marriage was not for me, but I do know several couples who have been married for eons and make it work beautifully so I know this is just a “me” thing–still, I’m always astounded when I meet people who’ve been married successfully for years. About 15 years ago I had a “closet/wardrobe” organizer come over and set up my closet so it works for me (she also got rid of three large garbage bags of clothes I didn’t wear or need, but had clung to for whatever reason). I have a different home now therefore a different closet, but what she taught me I have been able to transferr to wherever I’ve lived. At the time I believe it cost something like $300. for her services and I would’ve happily paid ten times that because the results/lessons I learned have been that helpful (and has easily saved me twice that in purchases I did not make).

I always love EIF but today’s episode was especially great. Style inspiration? Cate Blanchett in “Blue Jasmine.” Almost everything she wears and looks fabulous in was a solid color, except for a Missoni sweater. Getting married, again? After a year in the most magical relationship I’ve ever had I’m thinking about it and feel that there needs to be a meaningful reason to form “a more perfect union,” to quote A. Lincoln. I have my own big closet and bathroom at his house, nevertheless I sometimes get tired of shlepping clothes back and forth. That’s not a good reason to marry, nor is my wanting everyone to know we aren’t a passing thing. Who cares what other people think? The discussion of closet editing was aces. Thanks, Kim and Jenn!

After celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary last week, and being in the thick of raising a teenager and high pressure but rewarding careers, I find that I identify with the periodic ‘I hate my husband’ sentiment as it makes me feel like my feelings are normal. I guess its part of the ebb and flow of a marriage? And Jenn..I hear you on 7th grade as my kid’s experience, and consequently the parent’s experience, for 7th and 8th were the absolute WORST. Hoping you and Charlotte hang in there.

Jenn, I am so sorry that 7th grade is such a struggle! I am the parent of a middle schooler and a long time teacher (both public and private schools). You’re right, there is a lot of focus in middle school on executive function tasks such as using organizers to keep track of work, being on time, and yes…putting one’s name on the work. The teacher who failed your child for not putting their name to the assignment? That WAS the assignment. It might help to give your child the perspective that in 6th, 7th, 8th grade, the grades are for them. These marks aren’t being tallied for some higher purpose and won’t keep them from some future career or calling. We are trying to help the students, gently by some, too harshly by others, take responsibility for themselves and feel ownership over their work. And thank goodness there are a range of teachers out there – as an art teacher I can tell you that I often am in the teacher’s room sharing a story about a favorite student only to discover that they are the bane of another teacher’s day. Hopefully your kiddo will connect with some of their educators. You can help by giving some context for what seems pointless to them. Again I’m sorry it is such a struggle! I hope you find an ally at the school to help guide your child.

Hi Kim, Long time reader and new podcast listener fan!! What is the designer brand you folks talk about on the latest podcast? I don’t think I see it in the podcast notes. Love love your blog and now love love your podcast too (I’ve been a holdout on podcasts for years)!

Lydia Yuknovich was my bully in grad school. Grad school! I mean, who’s still a mean girl in grad school? Sheesh. And I was such a nobody and a nothing in that world, a worm on the grad school stage — why me??? I know she’s become very successful — never doubted she would, the talent and the ambition were always there — but damn if I don’t get a little PTSD thing going on every time I hear about her.

Is it just me or do I hear Logan Roy say “F off” to the people who complain about the swearing in the podcast? (also flagged as explicit). The swearing isn’t gratuitous, it’s fitting IMHO and btw “F off” if you don’t like it. Ha!!

Right after i listened to the podcast, which was fun as usual, i was reading this week’s FT (Oct 8-9) and discovered an article about La DoubleJ ( Home section) and the founder’s inspiration – traditional Transylvanian craft art. I sure would love to go to the exhibit in Basel. check it out Kim!

I’m a cusser too, and I greatly appreciate that the two of you talk to each how you actually talk to each other. Swear on!

Jenn…. the grain moths! Ich. I know your pain. My husband (the chef in the house) just can’t find a way to actually close items properly. I’ve purchased many containers and showed him how to use a rubber band to keep bags closed but…. I dunno. The gross, triangular, tube moth catchers are a decor feature in our pantry.

Here’s an interesting but probably much too long story on marriage: I never wanted to be married or have kids. At age 40, after breaking up with a good guy (who is a friend to this day) whom I had been living with, I knew that I didn’t want a relationship but I needed sex. Found a guy online (this is 2001) who, like me, was very busy with work (I as a writer, he as an actor). I had two projects going at the time, he had a TV show and we were mature enough to know that we would not be a couple but could enjoy sex and good food and great conversation. I would drive from my bungalow in Pasadena to his home in Marina del Rey almost every weekend….. for years! But we weren’t a couple. Then, a few years in, my dearest friend had her leg removed (at the hip) because of cancer. As a writer, I could be with her and write, but of course my writing suffered. He was the one who came to the rescue in many ways that I won’t go into. Next… my sister’s house caught on fire. He had never met her or my mother but he sprang into action buying her a fridge and a coffee maker (that’s what she said she needed) and went with me to the burnt down place to sift through whatever could be salvaged, which was nothing. Then (about 5 years in) he fixed my mom’s car with his own hands (he’s a handy motherfucker – worked in a steel mill, laid brick…. and went to Yale)…. and she called him my “boyfriend”, and I, of course corrected her. Years later my mother was ill with stage 4 brain and lung cancer. He paid for a trip to Amsterdam for her to have a last visit with her family. Beautiful hotel. Beautiful trip. Months later, as we, the emotionally frazzled kids sat in her bedroom knowing this was her last night on earth, he had gotten on the bed and had her head against his chest as she babbled on in a morphine haze, and then she just died, right there in his arms….. but we weren’t a couple. About 6 years later, at 53 a lemon sized tumor was discovered in my head above my ear, and a grape sized one on my brain stem. That man handled EVERYTHING like a professional. He is able to remove his emotions and get do the nitty gritty of it all and had the doctors impressed with his knowledge (at the time, his son was a PhD candidate for medical research at Columbia Uni), as he and the son went to work researching. I had a craniotomy and he insisted that I move in with him so he could care for me. He passed on jobs, took me to my radiation jolts, chemo appointments, knew what meds I should take and when. After a few months at his home he insisted that I marry him – “Just to make sure I can have husband rights to all of your medical stuff”. And yes…. we did it! At 54 I became a wife! To keep this lengthy comment as long as possible, I’ll add that I later had a thyroidechtomy, and now am going through stage 1 breast cancer treatment, and he has been there like the hardest of rocks taking care of me. I know it’s weird but looking at me you wouldn’t know any of that. I’m totally healthy otherwise – I eat right and exercise a lot and at 61 (and years of a good yoga practice) I can still put my foot behind my head. Marriage has been great for me…. and sometimes I hate him!

“I’ve got a strong back”, he has said to me many times when I fret about how he has carried me through the most heavy shit.

Wooph…. that was a lot, and now I’m wiping a way tears.

I legit squealed at minute 23, yay Kim, yay!! I, so sorry so many women hate their husbands. A good one is a miraculous thing and I’m so happy for you!!

Today’s episode was particularly fantastic. I teach 7th grade (year 27 in middle school!) and I feel you, Jenn. I’d never give a kid a 0 for a name in the wrong place, but I do think we teachers sometimes lose our way in determining what we can and can’t teach. When Kim said she’s never had the closet she deserves, oh how I felt that! I was driving, so I didn’t get the podcast recommendations, but they all sounded right up my street.