This week on Everything is Fine

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We’ve got writer Carmen Rita Wong on the show this week. Carmen’s most recent book, Why Didn’t You Tell Me?, is a memoir about her own complicated (and, quite honestly, fascinating) family secrets and we’re talking all about complex family dynamics, finding peace vs. granting forgiveness, emotional —and financial— survival, and why it’s better to wait until mid-life to tell our stories. Tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

 

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18 Thoughts on This week on Everything is Fine
    M
    26 Sep 2022
    11:08am

    I’ll be tuning in. My friend told me how one day a man showed up at the family home, looking for his father. This was how his father’s secret first family overseas was exposed. The father had never divorced his first wife, and had been sending money overseas throughout my friend’s whole life. The first family lived in comfort while the second family lived in poverty, driven like slaves by the father. There was no redemption story. The second family was torn apart.

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    monique
    27 Sep 2022
    9:40am

    What a great interview! Oh, god…. Carmen’s story has so many similarities to my own. All those family secrets and weird racial things and bullshit father lies going on. Both our mothers went to the grave clutching onto those secrets. I forgive my mother (her tragedy that would lead to a lifelong partnership with lying began at age 15) but my brother can’t and for that I feel sad. TBH, Carmen and I are not the only ones with this sort of cloudy family history, but it is satisfying to find a contemporary book that goes into it. I just bought the audio version….. maybe to torture myself!

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    cw
    27 Sep 2022
    10:36am

    As usual, the podcast was excellent. I’m so intrigued by Carmen’s book and can’t wait to read it. If y’all decide to attempt a book group again perhaps her book can be the one to start with as I think many of us would love to read and discuss it (lord knows we all have our own family secrets). And a side note: I can’t take melatonin. It gives me severe nightmares. I believe more people can take it than can’t take it and I don’t know why some can’t and some can, but I do think its use should come with a warning. That said, the only way my pup (who is suffering from canine dementia) can sleep through the night is a dose of melatonin and 2 gabapentin––prior to this combo she would literally begin pacing and barking around 8 pm and this behavior would continue until around 4 am. Every single night. So, just to be clear, I’m very, very pro melatonin.

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      monique
      27 Sep 2022
      1:10pm

      Melatonin gives me severe nightmares and night terrors (where my mind is awake but my body can’t move). It’s incredibly disturbing.

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    Kaittie
    27 Sep 2022
    7:46am

    I just listened to the two most recent episodes back to back. I think the woman from last week may be coming down with some kinds of cognitive disease as she was having major difficulty with word retrieval and recalling many details that were very relevant to the convo. This was super evident when compared to this week’s episode in which Carmen (I am so intrigued by her work now) was very eloquent and articulate.

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      JC
      27 Sep 2022
      9:26am

      Maybe better to just compliment Carmen and leave it at that?

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        Shelly
        27 Sep 2022
        9:51am

        Or maybe a direct email rather than a public posting?
        Having dealt with a parent’s dementia, I see this post as an attempted act of kindness.

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        Kim France
        27 Sep 2022
        10:05am

        Yeah, JC, I have to say I’m with you.

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          Jenn
          27 Sep 2022
          10:52am

          Wait, are they talking about me? I couldn’t remember fuck all week to week & CONFESSED THAT I QUIT WEED!

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            kimbersam
            28 Sep 2022
            5:09pm

            Oh, same, Jenn. I quit Xanax 6 weeks ago and have recovered enough to string thoughts together. What a PITA it was.

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      Kaittie
      27 Sep 2022
      10:29am

      I am very sorry for offering anyone. Please feel free to delete this message.

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        JC
        27 Sep 2022
        10:52am

        I get it, Kaittie–sometimes things can come out different in writing, especially in a public comments section. No worries on my part anyway.

        My father died with severe dementia 4 years ago, so I have walked the path. My experience is that the person themself is well aware of their deficiencies, at least in the early stages. And if not, loved ones definitely know. If it is necessary to reach out with concerns, best to do it privately.

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          JC
          27 Sep 2022
          10:56am

          …All this is not to suggest ANYthing about whatever prior guest we’re talking about! Who hasn’t searched for words or fumbled their thoughts?

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          Mimi A
          27 Sep 2022
          11:31am

          My husband had progressive dementia for many years before he died. When he was first diagnosed, his doctor explained that there are marked differences between cognitive diseases and the common changes that occur in aging brains. Forgetting words and details is normal after a certain age and not necessarily cause for concern. And, btw, my husband never seemed to know there was anything wrong with him. EIF continues to be amusing, educational and thought provoking.

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    Elle
    28 Sep 2022
    12:10pm

    I liked this episode and she is chic as hell

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    Wendy
    28 Sep 2022
    1:10pm

    I immediately downloaded the book and I can’t put it down

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    Edith
    26 Sep 2022
    7:26pm

    I like listening to the podcast each week and this was a good one. The format with a combo of conversation along with a guest interview is fun so don’t change it up too much! I’m not from New York or California but I can relate to Kim and Jen’s funny conversations.

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    Michelle
    29 Sep 2022
    9:30am

    I enjoyed this week’s episode and I know the goal was probably to get people to buy the book, but I felt like just a smidgen more context around what the secrets were would have been helpful both to follow the guest’s comments and have a little more empathy or sympathy for her. I was taken aback by some of her positions but then gave the benefit of the doubt because I hadn’t read the book. I also wasn’t intrigued enough to seek it out.

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Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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