This week on Everything is Fine

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We’re coming in hot with takes on the comedy of middle-aged fitness, the travesty of U.S gun laws, how to avoid a life spent with jerks, and how gossip just doesn’t feel right anymore. Plus: I have a Fiona Apple story and — hold onto your hats — it’s our most lukewarm fashion advice yet. Please do give it a listen, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in.

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18 Thoughts on This week on Everything is Fine
    Kelley
    6 Jun 2022
    3:12pm

    Listened on my walk. Thank you!
    Mentorships can also mean mentoring a grade school age person. In Portland, OR, I recommend Family of Friends. It’s non-religious, not based on academics (aka homework help), it’s just hanging out with kids who’d families self-referred them to the mentorship. I’m childfree too btw and had some regrets. Seven years ago I was paired with a kid who I got to support in her interest in art, science, and activism, and I’m still in relationship with her supporting her coming out as bi, finding her first job, etc. I’d get in touch with them to see if they are in a network with other orgs in other cities if not in Portland. Or go the religious or academic route if that’s your thing.

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    nancy
    6 Jun 2022
    6:21pm

    all things aside, i think you would be a wonderful teacher, kim.

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    cw
    6 Jun 2022
    4:01pm

    I haven’t posted anything since the shooting in Uvalde. Uvalde is my home town and that violence was earth shattering for me. I was in Uvalde on May 9th to take care of some business with my brother and while I don’t go there often, it is still someplace I have to be upon occasion and it’s been “home” to me since I was five. So thank you, Kim and Jenn for speaking about this horrific act. Two side notes: one) in the state of Texas (and this may be true in other states) all town of a certain size and a certain distance from a major metropolitan areas are required to have all divisions of their police force to go through SWAT training. This is regulated by the state. Uvalde is one of those towns. Every policeman standing outside Robb Elementary for those 90 minutes was SWAT trained. They were supposed to enter the school the second the first 911 call came through and they didn’t. They had the training, children were literally DYING and they didn’t enter the building. second) Jenn said she wished Biden would do something about our pitiful gun laws. The President can request Congress to do something, but there is basically nothing, legally, a President can do. Heather Cox Richardson has written a couple of columns about the responsibility of gun laws and Congress and what GOP/NRA tide took us to this unimaginable place (hint: Cowboy President Regan was a key factor). As for exercise––my two cents––we all need to move. As you grow older you MUST move. And what form of exercise worked for you in your forties and fifties may not work for you in your sixties and beyond. Walking is almost always a sure thing. Same with swimming. And keep an open mind––jazzercise in the pool with a bunch of little old ladies may look like a Coen Brother’s Floridian Purgatory in your forties, but may be your body’s saving grace in your seventies.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      7 Jun 2022
      1:31am

      I’m so sorry, CW. As devastating as the horror in Uvalde was for all of us, having a close personal connection to the place makes it even more so. Hugs. And right-on with your post.

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    Lisa
    6 Jun 2022
    11:38am

    Enjoyed the rambling discussion today! High school gym: my 9th grade gym teacher would arrange the well endowed girls in the front row as he had us do jumping jacks. He was a wimpy little guy who we fantasized about dismembering. My eldest craftily organized a group of girls to get out of gym class by substituting a yoga taught by me, in my home studio. I taught them restorative yoga (mostly) and felt like I was doing god’s work until a really unpleasant field hockey coach/gym teacher put the kibosh on the class. I plan to march in Princeton on Saturday re: guns. Will it do any good? I think the lawsuits against gun manufacturers will be the only thing to change the tide. Finally – and this may be controversial, but I fantasize about a reboot of What Not to Wear (minus the carnival side show aspect of some episodes) or Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style. I am frequently at a loss about what to put on these days and could use some visual aids using real people…would love to know if any of you have recommendations about other blogs/resources. Thank you both, as always for dropping these episodes every Monday, as it’s now part of my routine to start the week.

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      Lesley W
      6 Jun 2022
      6:46pm

      Lisa, I agree with @mamavalveeta. I have both of Andrea Linett and Kim France’s Lucky style guides. I still refer to them regularly some 10 years later. Some really solid style advice that continues to hold up well.

      And I miss Stacy London and Clinton Kelly!

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      Mamavalveeta03
      6 Jun 2022
      2:25pm

      Kim and Andrea (Iwanttobeher.com) are my go-to resource for style, etc. I’ve also found Allison Bornstein & Emma Hill (Instagram and YouTube) suit my aesthetic and although they’re young, style is style.
      I think I only had one gym teacher I could abide and she was a rarity in the rural Midwest: a single, Jewish, woman with style!

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    Kelly
    7 Jun 2022
    1:57pm

    Great episode. I always find so much to relate to. I am really getting into the EIF podcast world, listening to past episodes. I do love the tepid style advice, especially Kim’s feelings towards her body. My waist is also not what it used to be, and it affects how I dress to a significant extent. Not to the muu-muu extent, but still.

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    Donna
    10 Jun 2022
    10:54pm

    Kim, you & Jenn made me laugh so hard, I feel you…I was always picked last, I was hit in the head with a volleyball (while standing on the side lines), got kicked in the shins in soccer, I tend to duck when balls are thrown at me & in high school I got a D in PE for not running. xoxo you ladies

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    DawnM
    7 Jun 2022
    4:09pm

    I’ve been sober for 10 months and I’ve spent a lot of time weighing the words I use to tell my personal story.  I’ve become more careful as I realize the impact of such phrases as “I’m being driven nuts,” which firmly laid the blame on others for my drinking.  It was unproductive.  So, I applaud you, Kim, for examining the use of the word “crazy” because it suggests that you’re reassessing an unpleasant period of your life (God knows, we’ve all experienced hopelessness lately) and learning to treat yourself more gently.  That’s where wisdom comes from, and it only comes with age.  (I think I can skip speaking up in the AA meeting today!!!)

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      DawnM
      7 Jun 2022
      4:13pm

      P.S. I don’t mean to downplay mental health issues by suggesting it comes down to words.

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    Shelly
    6 Jun 2022
    3:02pm

    Another great episode! As the mother of two teen girls, I loved the discussion about teen girls and their revealing clothing. What was most interesting about it is how much we all have our own frameworks for thinking about things and it is difficult to think outside of those frameworks. Does this make any sense? If not sorry. I am thinking of how I sometimes look at what my daughters wear and think, “Ugh, where is the rest of that shirt??!!” but I am thinking within my decidedly middle aged framework where this is a thing we think. Girls today, if you are lucky, have rejected the idea that anything they do must be looked at in the context of the male gaze. It’s just not part of their framework. This isn’t a conscious thing or a statement, it’s just who they are.
    Then again, this may be particular to our very urban and very blue enclave, and their proudly feminist school.

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      Kathy
      6 Jun 2022
      7:31pm

      Re: thinking inside a specific framework—Yes! This is exactly right! A great example from when I was a teen is my mother insisting I wear a slip with every dress or skirt, not letting me wear shorts to (my unairconditioned) school when the temperature was in the 90s, and also forbidding wearing dressy, high-heeled sandals with my Jordache jeans. 😹

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    Helene
    6 Jun 2022
    12:25pm

    Great episode. I feel like you put into words everything I’m feeling! Love it!

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    Marcela
    7 Jun 2022
    6:32pm

    I hate to be that person, but maybe you should do an episode on fitness? I am a (almost) 49 year old woman that is overweight and has not exercised in years. I do not want to be physically worthless in my old age, but I do not know where to start. Googling ‘how to start exercising when you are old, fat and haven’t done it in years’ has not helped me so far, lol. Listening to you ladies talk about it today was great and so relatable. It also made me realize that I cannot just pop in my high impact aerobics dvd’s from 20 years ago and start that way. I would love some guidance.
    Thanks as always for a great show!

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      Rae
      9 Jun 2022
      5:34pm

      It may be too late for you to see this comment Marcela but here goes:
      I am an outdoor educator (as well as a yoga instructor) and I have led many girls and women through their first experiences rock climbing, hiking, backpacking, and paddling. I am also in perimenopause and struggling with my own body changes, reduced time for training etc. Here is advice from my experience:
      1. Decouple starting a regular habit of exercise from weight loss. Movement and exercise have their own intrinsic value and benefits, they will make your body more resilient, fit, strong — they may not cause weight loss. One need not be thin to be fit & healthy.
      2. Take some time to discern the difference between discomfort and pain. Many forms of exercise cause discomfort and this can trigger fear — fear of injury, of loss of control, of exhaustion. Pain means you should back off. I find yoga a very useful way to consider pain vs. discomfort in my body. Remember that backing off of something doesn’t mean you aren’t getting a benefit.
      3. Try a goal. It might be to run a 5k, go on a long hike with a group of friends, feel confident to join a barre class etc.
      4. Find the fun in the routine. I love to exercise (really) but I get bored by routine. I make sure that some of my workouts each week are social, such as climbing outside with friends, some are classes led by others so I don’t have to think, some a quick and easy, like an online functional strength video, some are a walk while listening to a great podcast or music. You get the idea!
      5. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing this to feel good in your own body, to have more options, to be more capable and resilient. Any exercise is good and taking breaks and rest are also good.

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      Kelly
      9 Jun 2022
      5:37pm

      This could be me. I used to be in super shape in my 30s, but because of medication and lethargy I’m carrying 30 extra lbs. I walk from the car to the grocery store and that’s about it. I have been trying to walk a bit more, like 5 blocks to the coffee shop (I live in a small city). Honestly, part of the problem is crime – someone got stabbed one block from me at 8:50 AM the other day, and it’s on my route to AA (the other place I walk) – plus shootings, assaults… It’s pretty nuts. So I’m kind of hesitant to walk anywhere.

      Anyway, I searched for 5- and 10-minute yoga on YouTube and it looks promising. My joints are so creaky (the other reason I can’t pick up my yoga-barre-pilates routine from my 30s), I can barely get up and down. But I’m going to try. Got to start somewhere.

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      Kaitie Dairrie
      9 Jun 2022
      4:53pm

      Marcela – start by committing to walking 1/2 hr each day. If 1/2 hr is too much, start with 15 min and gradually increase. Ultimately 1 hr of brisk walking is where you want to be – but it may take long to get there. Walking requires a pair of comfy shoes and nothing else. It also requires a mindset on your part. You wanting to get moving is key. Once you are comfortable walking, start taking care of what your eating. Just my 0.02. Good luck.

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About

Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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