We’ve got Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of the book Your Turn: How to be an Adult on the show, to talk all things grown-up: raising self-reliant kids, facing our underlying shame and anxiety around “adult” things, and how to live out the lives we truly want in midlife—and beyond. This is pretty intense episode—one of us actually cried during taping—but it’s so, so good. So do listen in, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. And please do join our Patreon, because we’ve got a load of fantastic exclusive content coming this fall.
I just listened to this podcast, it is wonderful. I am going through some big late-in-life transitions and I hung on every word. Julie Lythcott-Haims has a startling, keenly incisive grasp of human concerns and human nature. Everyone should listen to this.
Thanks for sharing.
Julie responds so meticulously to each question and comment, which made me aware of how often I don’t do that, even (maybe especially) to the people I communicate with every day. This interview is a master class in acknowledging feelings and LISTENING carefully to people. I’m going to listen again. She makes me want to do better.
This is one of the best episodes of this podcast yet! Julie Lythcott-Haims is wonderful and I’m getting her book for myself and my teens.
Jen–thank you for being so open about what it is like to be raised by teenagers. I was, too. A lot of what you said on this podcast episode and on one several weeks ago really resonated with me. It took me a long time to learn all the “polite society” things I just wasn’t ever taught and I certainly almost never saw. Much of which could fall under the “adulting” category. For example, I was bewildered the first time I had dinner at someone’s house who had actual table manners. I did not know that napkins (cloth!? What?) went on laps, that one asked for food to be passed, how a fork was properly held etc etc etc…thankfully I also didn’t know in that moment what horrible social faux pas I was making minute by minute or I would have passed out from shame. I remind myself now to be very gentle and nonjudgemental to the young people I come across because you never know where they are coming from and regardless of their backgrounds they have so much to learn. (And we have a lot to learn from them, too! I loved that point as well!)
It is a brilliant podcast. Julie Lythcott-Haims is a treasure. Highly recommend. As a side note: When I lived in Seattle in the ’90’s I had a friend who would fly down to a private school in Oji once a semester for two weeks and teach things like check writing/balancing and how to both invest and donate money to high school seniors. There were also folks on hand that taught things like basic cooking skills, laundry and the value of having a library card. I thought it was spot on then and still do.
I’m a fairly new listener, having only discovered you two in late July so am still catching up on old eps. However, I listened to this episode twice-not to mention the multiple times I would go back 15 seconds to hear something again. I enjoyed it so much and I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Thank you!
Listened to this while walking on the boardwalk and looking at the ocean. A perfect setting and lesson for the start of a new season, at a moment when I am at a “between” space in my life after raising kids and contemplating a move to a new setting. The avalanche of bad news in the world has really knocked me down, and listening to Julie’s clear instructions was so helpful to me. Thanks for giving me exactly what I needed this morning!
I love this lady! I read her “How to Raise an Adult” and saw my own mistakes on many of the pages. I reached out to her asking for resources for parents of autistic kids, and she got back to me right away with a bunch of places and people to turn to. Can’t wait to listen to this edition of the podcast.
I loved this podcast. Julie offered a lot of advice on raising your middle-aged self because we’re not done growing.