This week on Everything is Fine

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We’ve got actress Joanna Going on the podcast this week, and we’re talking about hitting a certain age in Hollywood, lessons learned, and the liberation of going gray (even if it’s scary). Plus: Jenn and I talk Bo Burnham obsession, Target shopping, our favorite new beauty product, and committing to a real, non-performative “hot-girl summer”— in any body, at any age. Listen in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. And do consider subscribing to our Patreon for exciting exclusive content!

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34 Thoughts on This week on Everything is Fine
    Rebecca
    22 Jun 2021
    7:25am

    Kim what was the facial oil? btw, great podcast!

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    Caroline
    21 Jun 2021
    8:33pm

    Love love love your podcast!! I find myself laughing with you and at myself. You two are my friends that I never knew I had!
    Kim, it’s just hair! You can always change it back!!
    I went colour free (gray) since the pandemic.

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    D.Morgendorffer
    21 Jun 2021
    4:30pm

    I don’t cover my silvers because I’m too lazy and too cheap.

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    Karin
    21 Jun 2021
    1:57pm

    Loved the discussion of the hideous fashions right now. I think designers were desperate to get rid of all the fabric they didn’t sell in the pandemic and/or thought everyone would want to cover their “covid 15” weight gain with tiers and ruffles??? I am 58, not 5, and already wore the Holly Hobby look in grade school.
    Also, Kim, relating as my personal hell in summer is the lack of dresses with short sleeves. I’ve already cycled through the “not giving a shit, showing my arms” phase and back again twice; this year, I’m in the “I need to cover my grandma’s upper arms that suddenly appeared on my body” phase. Is it so hard to add even a cap sleeve??? Adding to the hell, yesterday my husband addressed me as “Big Arm.” Divorce???

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      MARGARET
      22 Jun 2021
      12:39pm

      How dare he. I would escalate. The only response to “Big Arm” is “Li’l Dick.”

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      Viajera
      21 Jun 2021
      3:09pm

      Karin, you sound fun. I hope husband is more appreciative, in general. Only you can tell us if he has enough of an upside to be saying S like that. Ahem. It would only take one of us on the jury. (Kidding!! seriously… )

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        Karin
        22 Jun 2021
        6:53pm

        Oh, he’s appreciative, and was joking. But yes, depending on my mood he might have been treading on thin ice!

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    liz
    21 Jun 2021
    2:38pm

    Joanna looks absolutely beautiful. She is a delight.

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    Viajera
    21 Jun 2021
    3:06pm

    Just thinking out loud here. I tend to be a bit of a skeptic about the notion of us ever getting completely away from gynophobia – given that as primates, it seems to be inborn, at least to a certain extent. Otoh, we are not powerless by any means – the trouble is, we women generally don’t stick together. Also, isn’t thinking about the hair color thing just another way of making age important? When, why should it be? We don’t do this to men, why do we do it to ourselves? The focus on age here is the only thing I don’t know if I like about this space. (Which isn’t to say I think we should ignore it. So really, *do* I make any sense? perhaps not…) I know that my mortal body will continue to age and it will die someday. Other than trying not to waste time, what am I supposed to do about that? Why should I feel bad about myself because of it? I think it is not a good reason. (got lots of others) We should put this issue in its proper place. (Once one of youuuuu figures out where that is, and tells me…)

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    Liz
    21 Jun 2021
    12:43pm

    It’s always interesting to hear women talk about gray hair, especially how many assumptions women make about other women’s motives. I’ve been dying my hair since my early 20s, long before I had grays, because I love playing around with colors and it’s part of experimenting with my style. But to hear so many “empowered” gray haired women talk, I’m clearly only doing it out of insecurity and to cling to my youthful beauty. That’s not even something I think about. It reminds me of the contentiousness of the pubic hair debates.

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      Mary
      21 Jun 2021
      2:33pm

      I agree wholeheartedly, Liz! I’ve been colouring my hair well before any grey appeared and I have no intention of stopping the practice now. It’s no big deal and it’s not that expensive. I am well aware I’ll still look my age and this is fine

      I’ll have to find other ways to empower myself because not colouring my hair simply isn’t going to cut it.

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      Jennifer Romolini
      21 Jun 2021
      1:03pm

      I brought up this very issue this week! I love dyeing my hair, have been doing so since I was 15, probably won’t ever stop—I think being “empowered” is whatever makes you feel good, not doing anything because you think you “should” whether that’s going gray or not.

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        DeDe
        21 Jun 2021
        5:13pm

        A big YES to this. To me the problem feels like it’s less about dyeing or not dyeing and more about being told what to do, as if we can’t make good decisions on our own. From the time we’re born to the moment we die we’ve got everone from “experts” (LOL) to total randos telling us how to do literally everything, and to make matters worse, it’s all contradictory. There isn’t one way any of us have to be at *any* age and I think things would be a whole lot better for all of us if we could have more compassion for ourselves and others, wherever we happen to be at. It’s all a journey. Also, fashion right now is like Laura Ashley on a coke bender. I just can’t.

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        Liz
        21 Jun 2021
        1:40pm

        Yes, I was so glad you said that, too! It’s funny, I have also learned to cut and dye my own hair during the pandemic, and to me, that was empowering, because as much as I like having a good haircut and color, I hate spending so much time at the salon. It’s super satisfying and fun to be able to do it myself.

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    Eloise
    21 Jun 2021
    12:46pm

    I’m clinging to the edge of the airplane….but getting closer to let go. Perhaps a few more GoaCA grey advocates will get me there. Keep them coming, please!

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      AnnieaA
      21 Jun 2021
      8:36pm

      Okay, Eloise! I’d been using semi-permanent dye for a few years when my hairdresser suggested that if I wanted to go natural to gradually use lighter shades. After a few months I stopped that and then lived the ombre life for a while. It was happily quite a painless process, and my hair turned out to be a nice pewter.

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      Jen Marshall
      22 Jun 2021
      8:19am

      You can just try it and see. I grew out my gray two years ago. It was not a terrible process. After it was all done, one day I looked in the mirror and realized I hated it. I don’t have glorious white silver hair like I wanted. It was more steel gray mixed with some brown and I felt decidedly unchic. Since I am a person who finds clothing, makeup, and dyeing hair fun, I just decided to (again) try something different. I got a recommendation from a super stylish and connected friend and went to see a stylist who cut it short and dyed it blonde and now I love my hair again. I don’t regret trying the gray because now I don’t wonder about whether or not I like. It don’t. At least not in my late 40s when it isn’t silver enough. I’ll try again later and I’ll feel fine changing it if I don’t like it. If I had Joanna’s silver I’d be thrilled. It reads as lighter hair and that does look better on me. Maybe in a decade or so my hair will do that…

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    Tootles
    21 Jun 2021
    9:47am

    I went gray 5 years ago from being a dyed brunette. I am a few years older than you. Your guest brought up all the great points about going gray. Personally I never looked back and I LOVE it. I lost some girlfriends or dumped some others who weren’t down with it and were threatened. I find your aging convos on your podcast cringeworthy at this point. You are both no spring chickens and it takes balls to be your most authentic self in all aspects. Kim you are obviously toying with this decision. No one looks older than your average fake dyed babe-we all know you are not fooling anyone. It’s a personal decision and you’ll see how empowering it is once you transitioned. You can always go back.

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      DeDe
      21 Jun 2021
      5:20pm

      But what if your Most Authentic Self™️ has dyed hair? Who are any of us to say what that is for any other woman at any particular stage of her life?

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        JenM
        22 Jun 2021
        10:55pm

        Exactly! My Authentic Self definitely has (very obviously and on purpose!) dyed hair and cackles with glee all the way to the salon. Hours in a chair reading books and drinking coffee with nobody bugging me. Heaven. I’m also not trying to look younger. Just better in my own opinion.

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    cw
    21 Jun 2021
    9:41am

    Great podcast. Such a good listen. That perfect blend of information and entertainment!

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    Susanna
    22 Jun 2021
    9:58am

    I was kind of sad about all the hate for the tiered dresses. I first found one I loved pre-pandemic (mid 2019?)—it is solid black, with a deep v neck and not a scrap of lace, and has a very grown up midi hemline. I hadn’t seen this style before and wore it proudly, receiving many compliments—I was told it was “very Simone Rocha,” which sounded good (it was/is J Crew). I went on to buy several more tiered dresses because frankly I find them quite flattering on me. But now they’re a trend that everyone seems to hate? Sigh.

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      Jane
      22 Jun 2021
      11:35am

      I am going to back you up on the tiered dresses Susanna! They may not be not for everyone but I think they are easy breezy and look especially chic in black or white. I’m wearing them all summer because it’s been hot as balls! Plus, just putting on one thing to get dressed is a winner in my opinion.

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    Mae
    22 Jun 2021
    1:54pm

    Gray hair says you’re not looking for a job or a man, a lovely way to live.

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      Viajera
      22 Jun 2021
      6:51pm

      Very few people are independently wealthy. Maybe we could all re-think this. Is grey hair just the new way to brag? I can’t get with this at all. Sorry but no. This is why we women can’t have nice things, so to speak.

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        Mae
        23 Jun 2021
        11:27am

        What I meant was that it’s a statement of independence, which not everyone will applaud you for. We live in a world where women are pitted against one another and told we must not age if we expect to compete. For men. For jobs. Compete. Compete. I didn’t make the rules, but I sure did stop playing by them as soon as I could. And yes, maybe we could all rethink this entire charade we get caught up in. I’m 61 and a little discouraged that nothing has changed regarding dissing women because of how they look.

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          Viajera
          23 Jun 2021
          2:48pm

          Thank you for explaining. I am sorry I got cranky. My sense of humor has returned with the morn. I still think that if this is what the connotations are, then it’s Bozo Forever for me. However, I am happy for other people here if they have F U money. Would that it were all of us. As for the larger problem, well, I am fresh out of ideas …

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            Lrgnyc
            24 Jun 2021
            9:51am

            Maybe I have said FU money. I stopped coloring my hair in my mid thirties, about 15 years ago. I do work, and I am self supporting. But I work as a social worker in a hospital, so not a get rich quick scheme. I think i have one of the few jobs where being old is ok and maybe an advantage. Also Im in a union, so hard to fire.

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              Viajera
              24 Jun 2021
              12:38pm

              Good for you! Generally speaking, I also come from do-gooders, and have never crossed a picket line. I am all in favor of us building a society with more good jobs in it. And I think – or rather, I project ; ) – that one of the nice things about F U money is that if you have it, you probably don’t feel as cranky anymore, so then there is less swearing at people. Which is good.

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About

Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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