The last time I put a call out for requests, one of you asked what the best dating apps are for women our age. I actually get asked this question not infrequently, and the only honest answer I can give is: all of them and none of them. Whether it’s Bumble, Tinder, Our Time, Hinge, or one of the others, dating on the apps can be arduous, monstrously time-consuming, and soul-depleting. But it’s also the best way to meet people by far, so, when I was single, I did a lot of it (and as it happens, my current relationship and my last serious one before that were both born on Tinder). That things eventually worked out for me is the result, I really do think, of the fact that dating apps are a numbers game: the more dates you go on, the more likely you are to find what you’re looking for. Not that there won’t be bad dates along the way, because there will likely be plenty: I went on one last March so painful it lasted a mere 58 minutes before I had to (as politely as possible) bail. Here are a few rules I followed to keep myself from going nuts app dating: 1. When I felt super burnt-out and demoralized by all of it, I took dating-and-swiping breaks of a month or longer. 2. I expanded my search radius to include nearby cities, which in the end, did the trick. 3. I specified in my profile that I was not looking for hookups. 4. I evaluated and edited down my list of deal killers to just the most egregious ones and got rid of all the more arbitrary ones. Grammatical mistakes remained an automatic swipe left, but I loosened up my policy on certain other things. All of this made dating easier, but it’s still hard a lot of the time, and I don’t have any really fantastic advice for getting through it that I haven’t already shared. I’ve had women proudly tell me that their way of dealing with the vicissitudes of dating apps is to treat the whole thing like a job, but I don’t think I could detach enough to do that successfully, and really, would I want to? Single ladies out there: do you use apps, and if so, what are your guidelines for staying sane while you do?