depends on the piece and how much “statement” it makes…in which case i request a courtesy call if we are going out together or to the same event…

A true friend is okay – but a co-worker, annoying.

I find it flattering but always ask, I remember when I was in college and saving to buy my first Longchamp and my best friend returned from Spain with one. I was so crushed as I wanted one so badly but eventually told her and she said I of course should get one to maybe just a different color so that is what I did. Now years later I just bought another and am so glad for her encouragement that sometimes you just want the same things as someone you know and it is ok!

Oh god I don’t care. Unless it’s a single white female type situation which is creepy, I don’t see what the big deal is. My friends and I are always buying stuff we like on each other and yet we always look different. Besides, if a friend wants the same bag as me or whatever, go for it. I think caring is a little immature. I’m not wearing gowns at the academy awards.

Flattered! Always flattered! If it makes someone else feel good, I am happy.

There’s a lot of factors to consider. Something simple like a white tee or a pair of jeans don’t really matter, I think most of us like to recommend good stuff to friends. But more expensive statement pieces like a dress or a necklace then I think it’s polite to raise the subject prior. Also it would be fine if it happens occasionally but repeated copying would be highly annoying (and slightly creepy).

I grew up in a very small town with just one department store at which everyone shopped, so it was pretty much inevitable that my friends and I would accidentally end up buying some of the same blouses and sweaters. It wasn’t unusual to see the exact same outfit multiple times in the hallways of our high school. So, yeah, to me it’s no biggie.

I’m with Maryse. A friend and I have similar taste in shoes, and we have three of the same pair. In fact, one I bought for her as a birthday gift. We’ve worn them once at the same time. And we laughed about it. This is not something I consider an etiquette issue.

It’s not a big deal at all unless it’s some kind of statement piece. I have frequently bought the same jeans, tshirts, etc. as acquaintances or friends. I really don’t see the problem. But if it was something very unique and it was a friend who I knew we might wear the same thing to, I’d probably ask.

I remember a shopping trip, years ago, where a friend of mine and I both loved the same pair of purple suede Converse on ridiculous sale. (Seriously, I think they were like $9.) It seemed pretty dumb to choose who got to buy them, so we both got a pair (in the same size, even).

On the other hand, I did feel a little weird when a friend recently came back from vacation with my exact same haircut.

I don’t think it’s a big deal but it does annoy me when I have to save up to buy something and then a friend with way more disposable income sees it on me and runs out to buy the same thing and then pretends she had it first! This happened so often with one particular person in high school that I began wearing vintage clothes and vintage jewelry.
So it was a happy ending but I still get annoyed when I think about it.

For many years my bestie and I have purchased the same or variations of the same shoes, handbags, scarves, etc. If something is great why wouldn’t we love it for each other. She just moved home to Columbia and I am bereft. I am missing her and I find myself unable to shop much without her…silly, cozy chatter while digging through the racks – not really caring if we found something…

My best friend and I wear the same style of jean, same tees, and many of the same sweaters. We’re always quick to point each other in the direction of something we know the other will like. But if it is an event we do have to make sure that we aren’t going to wear the same thing (this has happened before, several times!). So the answer would be no, I don’t care.

My sister and I will buy duplicates for the other when we come across a must-have item. It’s a compliment when a girlfriend gets inspired, I’m sure I do the same on occasion.

Always flattered. Plus then I don’t have to share.

Totally fine! We share lots of good finds. Everyone wears them a little differently, and we don’t see each other as much as we’d like anyway. I am wearing a pair of shoes today that I copied from a friend on her recommendation.

I have 2 sisters, so to me it seems perfectly reasonable.

I’ll be the lone voice of immaturity – it drives me crazy. I can’t completely say why. Even when a good friend asks if it’s okay, of course I say it’s fine bc I know that’s the right answer, but something inside me cringes. My grandmother used to relentlessly copy my mother’s handbags, shoes, whatever, and it drove my mother crazy, so maybe it’s genetic?

I agree with Dianne! I also had one friend want to buy something I was wearing until she saw our other friends outfit and said “never mind yours,I want hers!” Otherwise I’m flattered!

The only person who does this to me is my mother and it completely irritates me because it’s part of a larger pattern.

I’ll let you know if it ever happens.

But, I agree with others on the issue of statement pieces and haircuts. Ay caramba on the haircut. Assuming it is that distinctive, of course.

Ha! My best friend always says she’d be walking around naked if she didn’t buy the same things as me- she jokes that I should just buy two of everything. I love her, so I don’t mind. Style is individual- even with some of the same items, we look very different.

In the most severe case, I find it creepy and weird. I know someone who copies not only my clothes and accessories but also my furniture, my fixtures, the general look and feel of my home. In this case, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery…it is just imitation.

I have only ever minded that once – when in my 20s a friend had sort of a single white female take on it. Things like copying my perfume, hair color, and even dating a guy I was through with. That was…creepy.

But mostly I expect my friends to like the same sort of looks I do. I mean we generally shop together and spend time, so obviously there are going to be crossovers. We learn from each other.

Jewelry sometimes bugs me. Somehow that seems personal, more so than clothing.

One piece, no problem. Flattering, really. A whole outfit, that would be weird.

Compliment. Definitely. As long as I had it first, she doesn’t wear it on the same day as me, and she doesn’t do it all the time.
On second thought, that sounds more like an annoyance.

Who cares?? It’s not as if we all look alike. I remember working somewhere once where we had an evening event and three of us showed up in the SAME Vera Wang for Kohl’s skirt: one of us was tall, plus-sized and blonde; another was petite with very short dark hair; and another was bosomy, about 5’5″ with long-ish dark hair. And, frankly, I think we all looked pretty good!

I found this forum when I was Googling “People who one-up you.” My situation is a bit different. I’m a middle-aged woman in the midst of a divorce. A widowed neighbor, 12 years older, has helped me in the past few months. At first I was appreciative & grateful, but many of his actions, too numerous to detail, all follow the same pattern. Basically, whatever I get or discuss with him, he buys it first. This applies to music–when I told him I liked environmental relaxation sounds CDs, he proceeded to buy several dozen, which he doesn’t listen to–to old movies–when I mentioned I loved a movie on the TCM channel, he bought the DVD, invited me over to watch it, told me he would give it to me & never did. I didn’t care if he gave it to me or not. It seemed like he was taunting me, since I am financially in tighter circumstances. He has also had new hardwood flooring installed in his house when I asked him for a place to buy flooring & attempted to have a CD system installed into his new car, when he found out the used car I bought had a CD player, etc. The list goes on. As a couple of people have said, this is part of a larger pattern on the other person’s part. It’s troubling & also very, very sad. This man is in his 70s, for goodness’ sake, & is financially very comfortable, has no serious health problems, but has no friends. I wonder why!

I have a friend that copies everything. Houses, cloths, accessories, etc. I have a very expensive taste and on recent trip I showed my husband a Rolex that I would like for 35 years anniversary in 3 years. My friend and her husband was with us and week after he bought the very same watch for her. I found that unacceptable and I was very disappointed. As a result I don’t want that watch anymore. I think people have to be creative and get they owne style instead of copy. We are not in high school I don’t owne cheep one season pieces typically I buy expensive long term stuff that is unique, so I don’t appreciate if she copies all.

If my friend bought a regular pair of jeans like mine, I’d probably be okay with it, but I would not be okay with my friend buying the same unique leather coat or something that’s not basic. That would annoy the heck out of me because everyone should have their own uniqueness about them and not feel like they need to copy someone else’s style! Individuality is key!!!

I told my friend the car I was going to buy and she ran out and bought it before I did. I sincerely cant believe she did that. She never asked me if I minded if she bought the car, the same color I wanted.
She just had breast cancer, had a mastectomy and is about to have reconstructive surgery. I gave her the cancer pass but I never knew that she wanted what I have before I get it. I would call that jealousy. I’m not interested in that car anymore. It was rude and intrusive. Once someone shows you their colors, dont try to paint them.

I agree with the poster above who says it is bothersome when it’s part of a pattern. I’m currently having that issue with my own sister. Usually, we tell each other about must-have purchases so that we can both enjoy them. Lately however, whenever she purchases something that I originally discovered (like a dress or shoes that I’ve planned on wearing to a special life event), she’ll wear it before me to a meaningless get together and plaster it all over social media. When I inevitably wear it later, I end up looking like the copycat!

She gets defensive when I tell her it was hurtful of her to wear a certain piece when I was saving it for a special occasion and then will dismiss the item as “not that special.” Well, it is to me! And it was to her based on the fact she ran out and bought it.

Most recently, I bought a beautiful dress that I’d like to wear on my anniversary. I told her about the dress and she ran to buy it and is already planning on wearing it to…a kid’s birthday party of all places. Well before my anniversary. I’m floored. Next time, I’ll keep my mouth shut.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I told my friend I wanted to buy a skirt. Later that day she sent me a picture of her buying the exact same skirt. Is it immature to be a little frustrated and disappointed in her? I know she didn’t mean it to be mean, but I just can’t get over it.

While we were on vacation, my friend and I went to a boutique and we both picked a few items to try out. The shop was tiny and it only had one dressing room. We thought we could use some advice on whether the items looked good on us so we went in together. She tried on her items first then she asked me if she could try on a dress I picked out. What could I say but yes? So she tried it on and decided to buy it. I decided not to try it on because what’s the point to buy the same thing? She was surprised I didn’t want to try it on. I was hoping she would get the message that I didn’t like wearing the same things within friends. Obviously not. In the following years, she keeps buying the same or similar things that I had purchased. It is annoying but it seems to be such a minor thing that I couldn’t really raise it as an issue. Still, it annoys me every single time.

How would you feel if a friend asked you to buy the same furniture (dining table and chairs) as you? I have a cousin (that this friend never met) with a good discount, but she last minute changed her mind and wanted to get the same table and chairs as me. Would this bother you? It’s not a handbag or an outfit (something that get’s replaced often).

I recently told a friend it bother me when people “copy” me. She came by to go on a road trip she had same style, color, design coat that I have, it was given to me years earlier by my son and his girlfriend. I were a scarf with it to keep my face warm when necessary and age of the pandemic and mask wearing emergencies. She had the scarf as well wearing how I have. I was a little surprised when I slowly realized it. Buttons and all.

I see absolutely nothing flattering about friends having no imagination! I pride myself on my individuality and style and cant think of anything worse than my friends copying me. My friends do pick the same trainers or jackets at times because we have similar tastes but in different colours – I have no problem with this but some of the friends that you ladies have who go out and buy exactly the same, well this just shows a distinct lack of imagination and also respect in my opinion. People like this care less about offending you (there so called friend!) and more about how they look to others (in your style!) this isn’t flattery it’s just strange and I would question if these people should be friends at all…. To me it shows the ultimate lack of respect it’s not a form of flattery! There are countless fashion shops out there and we have the internet now, it’s shameless behaviour and it makes people look like their friends are taking advantage of their style and good taste. I’d question whether people are just fearful of losing there so called friends so put it down to flattery?
I’ve just had a friend text me to ask me where I bought my daughters beautiful and very distinct brightly coloured rattan headboard. I love this piece and it’s great that she likes it. Furniture lasts for years not a season. I’m actually seriously offended that she has had the gall to ask me (she copies my things constantly- takes pictures of my things and goes around boasting about how similar we are!) I told her I couldn’t remember where I bought it, in my opinion she needs to get a life and I’m not sure I even want a friend with so little imagination! These types of friends are like vampires sucking your blood!

I have a friend that like the same things and get excited to buy the same as me . I know she has a good heart and now that we are older she can afford these for herself bc are kids are adult sand we can be selfish so I enjoy that she enjoys things I like. Maybe if it was someone else it would bothers me but she like my sister

I have a friend who went out and bought the same car (style & color) as me and I am livid! As my “friend” she knows that I like to be different than others in our circle. So to purposely go out and buy the same car (style & color) after I told her how I felt, is disrespectful to me. She’s basically said, I don’t care how you feel, I’ll get what I want. So now we’ll be pulling up to the same place with the same car looking like the bobsy twins. Then to tell others not to tell me, is very sneaky.