A quick update, and a question

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I’m taking off on a road trip tomorrow, which means I’ll be taking a little vacation time too. I will post while I’m gone—though at the moment it’s unclear how often—so do check in. And expect me back here on the regular the Tuesday after Labor Day.  And speaking of which, this time of year always puts me in mind of getting fired from Lucky, as that happened right after Labor Day too, back in 2010. Losing that job was a jolt at first, but wound up being one of the best things that ever happened to me. So tell me this: what happened in your life that felt like a curse at first but ended up being a blessing?

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35 Thoughts on A quick update, and a question
    Maryse
    17 Aug 2021
    3:26pm

    About 11 years ago, my husband and I went thru a tough time and ended splitting up for a year. In that year I started seeing a shrink. Was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, got my magic pills and learned that I had been anxious and depressed since adolescence and just thought that I was bad, not trying hard enough, was angry, etc. since the age of 13. It was life changing. I still feel lousy sometimes but between therapy and my meds I’m feeling so much better. And my husband and I are still together (he worked on his own shit).

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    Meg
    16 Aug 2021
    4:01pm

    A few years ago I lost my relationship to my sister. We had a major falling out, and I was hurt and angry for a time. However, being away from her allowed me to see how much I disliked her as a person, and how much control I gave her over my life and happiness. The first time I made a major decision without thinking first how she might view it, was incredibly liberating. Just because someone is a blood relative doesn’t mean you need to put up with their BS and keep them in your life. In the time since, a few of her grown children have called her out on her crap too. We’re all happier.

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      AnnieA
      16 Aug 2021
      4:41pm

      It’s heartbreaking when people put up with all sorts of abuse “because they’re family”.

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    Marisa
    16 Aug 2021
    3:51pm

    Working from home! 🙂

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    cw
    17 Aug 2021
    8:49am

    So many uplifting stories here––what an amazing group of resilient women. Kim, have a rollicking road trip!

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    Mary B
    17 Aug 2021
    2:14pm

    Getting fired after 15 years w/ the same company, losing everything and having to move back home with my parents while my son went off to college. I ended up in a new career, marrying my 3rd husband and being close to my parents when my father got sick and subsequently died. I can’t say it’s all been unicorns and rainbows, but I’m here and better than ever.

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    D.Morgendorffer
    16 Aug 2021
    1:10pm

    Thank you for this post and all the wonderful comments being shared. Tomorrow I’m going to start the whole submission/rejection dance for a project I’ve been working on for the past few years. Even though tomorrow’s task will merely consist of a few clicks on my laptop, I am a nervous wreck (more than usual). So, I will be reading these comments when I need to breathe in more courage tomorrow.

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      Tahe Z
      16 Aug 2021
      3:36pm

      Best of luck to you, D. Morgendorffer!

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      Viajera
      16 Aug 2021
      5:09pm

      Yes, D. – best of luck!!! I will make a big “D” with my arms tomorrow morning. You won’t be able to see it, but you’ll know it’s there.

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      Mamavalveeta03
      16 Aug 2021
      11:26pm

      You’ve got this, D! We love you! XOX

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        D.Morgendorffer
        17 Aug 2021
        12:05am

        Thank you so much, everyone!

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      cw
      17 Aug 2021
      7:16am

      Fingers crossed!

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    EW
    16 Aug 2021
    2:39pm

    I had a devastating illness that temporarily paralyzed me; recovery was long and terrible and I didn’t think I would ever get back to ‘normal’. That was over 15 years ago. I learned so much from all the physical therapy and learning how to take care of myself that these days I am in the best physical condition of my life. I can do things now that I never thought I could have. The other thing that illness taught me: I totally want to live as much I as can.

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    Aine
    16 Aug 2021
    3:00pm

    I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition in my late 40’s. Because of the condition and the meds to help manage the condition, I have a low energy level.

    I had to give up a lot and greatly simplify my life in order to manage the pain. That meant letting go of a lot of friendships. I didn’t have the energy to keep up lots of relationships. So many friendships faded away. I realized that I had been the one putting in the effort to keep the friendships going and it wasn’t reciprocal.

    So now I have smaller circles of friends who are understanding and make the effort. It is much more rewarding.

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    Jennyg
    16 Aug 2021
    4:17pm

    This sounds insane but moving to SoCal a block from the beach. I went kicking and screaming dealing with moving a house, pets and 2 grade school kids. I quickly realised every cliche about LA is true and I was ok with that and living in a beachy surf town was dreamy!!!

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      Cece
      19 Aug 2021
      7:09pm

      This has been an unexpected and out of nowhere goal of mine that’s shown up on my mental doorstep very recently. Glad to hear it’s doable!

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    Gablesgirl
    16 Aug 2021
    7:56pm

    I was a “Covid work casualty” last June and was gobsmacked. I worked at the same place for 20 years, stellar performance evaluations and felt I had accomplished so much for my employer. I decided that working for 34 years was enough, my husband and I simplified our lives and I have never been happier.

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    Wendy
    16 Aug 2021
    8:22pm

    Twenty nine years ago, when I found out that I was pregnant with twins, I realized that my librarian salary would just about cover daycare and commuting expenses. I panicked for a few weeks as I considered all of my options. My husband and I decided that quitting my job was the smartest move. So I became a “domestic life facilitator”. I’ve had no regrets. And we had a third child.

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      Tahe Z
      17 Aug 2021
      10:10am

      Domestic Life Facilitator! I love it!

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    sally
    16 Aug 2021
    10:49pm

    Had a life altering health problem that led me to realize I didn’t want to stay in my hometown, too expensive and dead, after working my entire adult life just to try to stay there by any means necessary. Moved to a new state, bought a house, found a great community, got a better job with better income in spite of living in a cheaper place. Life is slower and happier overall but I do still wish for my old health. No regrets whatsoever on the move.

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    Robin H.
    29 Aug 2021
    11:39am

    I have been reading these posts highfiving perfect strangers who feel like friends. Love love these comments as I am going through life changes which leave me shaking my head and then crying.And then smiling at the hilarities of life. The push push push to be productive and chase the brass rings whatever that means . I am 63,and still trying to figure things out. Wonderful posts.

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    Mamavalveeta03
    16 Aug 2021
    11:36pm

    Have a wonderful road trip, Kim! The best conversations always happen on the road.

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    Lisa
    21 Aug 2021
    3:47pm

    Breast cancer diagnosis, five years ago next month. Mastectomy, chemo and ongoing meds were not my favorite experience ever – but you know what? It showed me I’m a hell of a lot stronger than I imagined, and I learned to honestly look only one step at a time – and not to catastrophize into the future. I also learned I have an amazing family and wonderful friends, who love me. It also showed my daughter, who was 9 at the time, that we can go through tough things. I’m cancer free and very grateful. Thanks for your post Kim! Fellow Texan (who fled to NYC and now VA) here.

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    Mouse
    16 Aug 2021
    7:24am

    The age-related waning of my life-long career created an opening for me to reassess my life. A door opened which had not been open before and I walked through it. I met my husband, built a house and a whole different life. I could not have imagined that I would barely miss my previous career and life. I was in my mid 40s and am now so happy at 60……To every thing there is a season…..

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    Nancy
    16 Aug 2021
    8:23am

    Leaving a job I had for 13 years for a new position. I am in counseling/social work. My first week in the new job…was told by the director he had made a mistake on the funding source for my position (new position for the organization too) was diff. than he thought and would not be refunded so I would have to be layed off. I was devastated but a few months later found the job that is the best fit for me in every single way and has made the past 25 years the happiest of my life.

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    Gemma
    16 Aug 2021
    8:32am

    Divorce, of course. I got divorced in my early 30s, and it felt so humiliating at the time. It was absolutely the right decision and, 15 years later, it’s shocking to think that I was once married to that person.

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    lola
    16 Aug 2021
    8:51am

    Getting laid off at age 46 after 16 years at the same firm. Allowed me to think about what I really wanted to do and spend time with my son I would never have had. Just when I finished up school and was ready to start the next chapter I was diagnosed with cancer. The entire year made me rethink what is important to ME. It literally changed everything in my life for the better because I became a better person. Not ever day, but more days than I was before.

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    Almisa
    16 Aug 2021
    11:33am

    The boyfriend who had the nerve to break up with me! I was distraught and thought I would never get over it. Chased him relentlessly for over a year (poor guy) as I was sure he was The One. In retrospect a marriage would have ended in bitter divorce. I’ve now been happily married for 53 years to someone whom I met in a coffee shop.

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      JC
      16 Aug 2021
      11:39am

      Wonderful! Btw, your hair is gorgeous, Almisa. And the lip color is perfection. 🙂

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    Amy C
    16 Aug 2021
    11:52am

    After a very busy 20+ year career in magazine publishing I got laid off (from Condé Nast too) in Oct. 2009 at age 44. I had weeks prior been diagnosed with breast cancer and was engaged and getting married months later. I made lemonade out of lemons. Got married, beat cancer and went on to find a new purposeful career in non-profit and volunteer work. It has been so personal rewarding to help others and I have met so many great people. Almost 12 years later and I am grateful every day for where my second act has lead me. I am better rested, healthier and have more free time for my passions ( cooking, travel, reading ). I have been able to spend more time with family and friends. My Dad who had a very successful business life and worked extremely hard until he retired always says no one is on their death bed saying I wish I had worked more.

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    KB
    16 Aug 2021
    12:20pm

    Oooooh what glorious timing, as I am being “managed out” of my job at this very moment! It has been enraging, heartbreaking, and stunning. Oh, the damage a young, insecure, new manager can inflict. But despite the trauma, I have slowly discovered that (a) I can/should make way more money at other institutions, (b) I have a ton of truly great, inspiring job options, and (c) eh, the current job wasn’t so great anyway (esp. w/ this terrible new manager, right?). I’ve turned from mourning to celebrating as I move toward new horizons with optimism … and possibly a quick middle finger. Heh.

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      Candy
      17 Aug 2021
      12:24pm

      Good for you! I’ve been there with an older manager who wanted younger workers because they were cheaper. But I admire your positivity and, like you, I found there are many healthy benefits to no longer being in a job that brings only stress and sadnesss.

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      Tahe Z
      16 Aug 2021
      1:36pm

      I love your positive attitude, but yeah, being made to feel irrelevant cuts deep. I’ve been there! Best of luck, KB!

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    Viajera
    16 Aug 2021
    12:26pm

    There are few things better online than a vicarious road trip. Big fun!!

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    Tahe Z
    16 Aug 2021
    1:09pm

    Kim, I hope you have a wonderful trip. I have been busy catching up on EIF and wanted to message the IG page to say that if you or Romolini feel like venting about your changing bodies, whether it’s weight gain or sagging skin, that is your right. It’s your body and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. No matter what size you are someone is going to complain that you don’t have a right to complain. You have clearly expressed your support over and over again for people of every size and shape, but that doesn’t mean you have to shut up if you aren’t loving your current state of being. You two are lovely and awesome and human. I also hear you liking certain parts of your inner and outer selves as well as getting to buy those fabulous and expensive clothes. Should you stop because someone is bothered by it? No, you shouldn’t. Keep being you. You two are some of the most compassionate and body embracing people I’ve listened to. Don’t change because one or two people complain. Ok what was the question. Oh right…

    I, too, lost my job. In fact, it was a job I had that I had to reapply for. I didn’t get it because I was a few months shy of the minimum two year experience. It was like they wrote the job description so I wouldn’t be qualified despite having been the person that kinda created the position to begin with. Oh well. Frankly, I was glad in the end. It was in event planning and I could see that it wouldn’t take long before I burned out. I ended up getting my old job back where I had gotten laid off back in 2017. Major happy ending!!

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About

Kim France

I was born in Houston, Texas in 1964 and have lived in New York City since 1988. I had a long career in magazines, working at Sassy, Elle, New York, and Spin, and in 2000, I founded Lucky magazine, which I edited for ten years.

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